Husband to wife: I've been married to you for 35 years and I still don't understand your thought process on trout.

Florence, Kentucky

Mother (giving four-year-old a children’s bible): Here, find Jesus for mommy.

Doctor’s Office
Ashland, Kentucky

Overheard by: Lola

Mom to girls at bar: You two are so cute. [To daughter’s friend] So, do you swing both ways?
Friend: Uhhh…
Daughter: Just ignore my mother. She’s really drunk and thinks I need a date.
Mom: I’m just trying. Do you think I don’t care about you?

Louisville, Kentucky

Mom: Did you see how that girl was pulling that young man across the street? Maybe he was blind.
Daughter: I saw how she was dressed — he wasn’t blind. If he was blind she wouldn’t be dressing so slutty. If I dated a blind guy I would wear clothes that were soft.

Louisville, Kentucky

Redneck man with mullet coming out of bathroom: Well, son, that was some mighty fine hand dryer, wudn't it?
Son,excitedly: Yeah, pops, sure was!

Shepherdsville, Kentucky

Overheard by: Chelsea

Guy on cell: I know of at least two plant and four fish species that could do my job just as well… Now, the fish just came in with touchscreen technology.

Covington, Kentucky

Overheard by: Jesus Freak

Female English professor on the first day of class: So tell me as much about me as you can by my appearance. What kind of person do you think I am?
Student: I think you were probably a wild teenager. You've got a tattoo and a tongue piercing.
Female English professor (chuckling): I've got more tattoos and piercings than you care to know about.

Community College
Elizabethtown, Kentucky

Overheard by: Chelsea

White mother to teen daughters after black family walks by: I’m so glad you two aren’t black! Then I’d have to put all those little beads in your hair and–well I’m just really glad.

Versailles, Kentucky

Princess: You guys, Johnny Depp doesn't always play dark characters. He was blonde in Secret Window!

Little Bar

Overheard by: Dead Betty

Indian lady on crowed bus on cell: Yes. 'h' as in 'Hitler.'

Louisville, Kentucky

Overheard by: Not Me