Nobody Knew Pig-Pen Was a Girl 'til She Grew Up

Middle-aged man to 20-something bookseller: You've got that sort of hair that men love to mess up…

Lexington, Kentucky

Overheard by: envious

Little boy to younger brother: I'm 'bout to choke you!
Mother, to all children: I'm 'bout to choke all y'all!
Little boy: Together, mama?
Mother: Together.

Louisville, Kentucky

Overheard by: Jessica

40-something: No one really knows just what goes into running a chicken farm.

Hebron, Kentucky

Overheard by: Let's Keep It That Way

The Two Guys Loved It, Though

Sorority girl to another: That has to be the worst way to lose your virginity.

Murray State University

Hottie: Here ya go — put this in your man-purse for me, please.
Indie boyfriend, indignantly: It’s not a man-purse! It’s a medical evac bag!
Hottie: Okay. You got any bandages or sterile alcohol in there?
Indie boyfriend: … No.
Hottie: Yeah, right — it’s a man-purse. [Guy sullenly puts item in bag.]

Target, Saint Matthews
Louisville, Kentucky

Teen girl #1: Oh! Did I tell you my sister finally had her baby?
Teen girl #2: How long have you had a sister?

Louisville, Kentucky

Overheard by: Tracy

Kid: I want Skittles.
Mom: We have M&Ms at home. We don’t need any more candy.
Kid, after long pause: The Skittles telled me they’re lonesome. They want to go home and see their friends, the M&Ms.
Mom: Nice try, but no… Skittles and M&Ms don’t frequent the same social circles, anyway.

Lexington, Kentucky

Overheard by: He-Man Skittle-Haters Club

Professor: And if rubbing dog doo on a child's coat makes me a bastard, then so be it.

University of Kentucky

Overheard by: Still laughing a semester later.

Guy, weighing himself: 176. Hmm, hold on a minute, I gotta go shit.
Guy at desk: Alright.
(5 minutes later)
Guy, weighing himself: 170. Goddamn.

Centre College
Danville, Kentucky

Sorority girl to another, sitting in booth: Girl, I was double-fisted all night long last night!
Gay dude #1, quite loudly, to gay dude #2: Oh my god! That is so nasty! Who on earth would ever say something like that out in public! I wouldn't want anyone to know that anyone could do anything like that to me, let alone enjoy it! Nasty bitches!
Gay dude #2 to gay dude #1, very quietly: Um, I think she meant she had a drink in both hands, you idiot.
Gay dude #1: Oh.

Chinese Restaurant
Lexington, Kentucky

Overheard by: j-we