Stoner guy: So he turned around and there were aliens in the back seat. Then he said, “Yay! Now we can have a hoe down!”

Western Kentucky University

Guy #1: What's a “ball gag”?
Guy #2: Oh, come on! Leather daddies and ball gags are always synonymous.

Louisville, Kentucky

Guy: And I was like, “I can't invite you to my party if I can't guarantee you'll keep your pants on!”

University of Louisville
Louisville, Kentucky

Overheard by: The man has a point

Browser #1: They only eat dead flesh. They only eat dead flesh! They only eat dead flesh!
Browser #2: What are you talking about?
Browser #1: They only eat dead flesh — y’know, maggots — and I found them in my garbage can and they only eat dead flesh. They only eat dead flesh, y’know?

Flea market

Girl on PA: Attention, Wal-Mart shoppers. We need Dan Smith* to return to automotive for a confrontation on your vehicle.


Redneck lady: Here's where they stop believing the bible is true. This is where you end up, the ghetto.

Creation Museum
Petersburg, Kentucky

Overheard by: Going to hell

I Used to Wear the Wonderbra, but I Kept Needing to Get Abortions

Sorority girl #1: So, like, you still get your period when you’re on the pill.
Sorority girl #2: Yeah, but not when you’re pregnant.
Sorority girl #1: So what’s the point of the pill, then?
Sorority girl #2: It totally makes your boobs bigger.

Lexington, Kentucky

Professor: China's a sausage fest.

Murray State University

Little girl: Mommy, can we have the monster beans? Mommy, look, they have monster beans, can we get the monster beans?
Mommy: Honey, I think that is the green giant.
Little girl: …or monster beans!

Dollar Tree
Nicholasville, Kentucky

Humanities prof: Where were we? (pause) Dead babies!

Murray State University