Kids

Little girl in stall: No boys allowed in here!
Little boy in the next stall: Well, my name's Simon!

Girls' Bathroom, Clemyjontri Park
McLean, Virginia

Overheard by: Ellen

Children librarian, about girl scout troop outside: Um…they're throwing rocks at the windows.

Library
Suburbia, Illinois

Overheard by: martha

Little boy: I don’t like your rules, Mommy!
Mom: They aren’t my rules, honey, they’re America’s rules.

Austin, Texas

Mom to child: Do you know what that is, honey?
Child: No.
Mom: That's a mannequin.
Child (giggling): It doesn't have a head!
Mom: That's right. None of them do!

Iowa City, Iowa

Future career counselor: What do you want to be when you grow up?
Future asylum inmate: A crazy person that likes to be alone.
Future career counselor: Like a snarly recluse?
Future asylum inmate: Like the Unabomber.

Wausau, Wisconsin

Mom to little girl touching display: Honey, don’t do that! [Kid keeps doing it.] I said don’t do that! Do you want to go to Hell?
Little girl, scared: No.
Mom: Then don’t touch that.

Lansing, Michigan

Overheard by: the girl behind the register

Six-year-old girl: Mum, remember when we went on that airplane?
Distracted mum: Mm-hmm?
Six-year-old girl: Was that paradise?

Train
Melbourne
Australia

Overheard by: Wishing I could go holiday there

Mother weighed down with shopping bags: Mummy needs a coffee now, honey.
Six-year-old daughter: But Mummy, I wanna look at–
Mother: –Mummy needs coffee or she will die.

Greensborough Plaza, Main Road
Greensborough
Australia

Tough, burly, tattooed mom: C'mon, honey, you'll like it!
Tearful four-year-old boy: I don't wanna!
Tough, burly, tattooed mom: Everyone loves the beer store! (pulls boy into beer kiosk)

Collingswood Auction
Farmingdale, New Jersey

Overheard by: not EVERYONE

Mother to toddler daughter: Would you rather I just say “testicles”?

Art Institute of Chicago
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Brian