Friend #1: Do you remember when we were little and I used to show the neighbor's boys my boobs so they'd give me candy? Bet you're glad I stopped doing that!
Friend #2: What are you talking about? The only thing that's changed is your form of payment! You just finished telling everyone not two minutes ago how last week you won $200 on amateur's night when you went to the strip club with the guys!
Eau Claire, Wisconsin
Girl: Where you going?
Guy: I am gonna go get tested for AIDS!
Girl: What?
Guy: You know, HIV! It's free!
Auburn University
Auburn, Alabama
Hobo sitting on sidewalk: Hey, can you spare some change?
Student: Sorry, man. I'm as broke as you right now.
Hobo: Grab a seat.
Guelph
Ontario
Canadia
Calculus lecturer: If I had 20 million dollars to give you as a gift…I would, just to see you fuck up.
Perth
Western Australia
Australia
Guy: She’s Irish, so I really hope at some point she says: “Shut yer piehole!”
Girl: I could pay her ten bucks to say it, unless that violated the pie hole code.
Guy: First rule of pie hole: There is no pie hole code.
http://overheardlines.blogspot.com/2008/06/american-guy-apparently-on-his-way-to.html
Overheard by: tim
Girl #1: I can just ask Jay if I can borrow his truck.
Girl #2: Do you ever give him gas money?
Girl #1: No, I give him sex.
Girl #2: But gas is expensive…
Girl #1: And sex is expensive if you have to pay for it.
North Bay
Ontario
Canadia
Guy on cell: And I wanted to say, essentially, “Bitch, my office manages eight billion a year, so shut the fuck up”–but in the refined and enlightened way one would say such a thing in the country club dining room.
Santa Rosa, California
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Old man pushing shopping cart, singing happily to himself: Maybe I should get an 8-million-dollar lawsuit against my own family!
Seattle, Washington
Passerby to friend (excitedly): We should so sell bottled dirt!
KSU
Manhattan, Kansas
Overheard by: Nicole
