Guy: If I bought a handgun I would name it “Lady Boner.”
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Claire
Girl #1: You know every time I see Tyler Perry I think about the white Tyler Perry.
Girl #2: That's Steven Perry from Aerosmith.
Girl #3: That's Steven Tyler.
Girl #1: Well, I'm talking about the Tyler Perry from Friends.
Girl #4: That's Mathew Perry!
Cancun
Mexico
Dopey girl #1: Have you seen the movie Sweet Sixteen? I mean, Sixteen Candles?
Dopey girl #2: Yeah!
Dopey girl #1: Yeah! Oh my god!
High School
La Jolla, California
Overheard by: God
Bearded old hobo: Heyyy, Cinderella.
Teenage girl: Um… hi!
Bearded old hobo: Want me to read the bible to ya?
Teenage girl: No thanks, I'm good.
Bearded old hobo: I know you are. (winks)
Outside Christian Science Reading Room
Boston, Massachusetts
Guy to girlfriend after late-night party: You name a breast after me, but you don't trust me?
West End
Portland, Maine
Chick, approaching yuppie guy: Hey I haven't seen you since…
Yuppie guy: Since I nailed you in the high school bathroom! Four… five years ago, right Jen?
Chick: No, that wasn't me. But thanks for remembering my name!
Bar
Nebraska
Overheard by: allie
GameStop employee #1: No, dude, I swear, Puerto Rico was the 48th state.
GameStop employee #2: No it's not, dummy! Puerto Rico is not the 48th state. It was the 49th!
GameStop employee #1: Well, why don't I just look it up on my cell phone, I bet I'll prove you wrong. How do you spell “Puerto Rico”?
GameStop employee #2: P-o-r-t-o R-e-e-c-o?
Fleming Island, Florida
Little boy in handicapped stall: I like you… I like you, Craig… You relax me.
Ladies Room, Barnes & Noble
Saugus, Massachusetts
Teenager: Hey, which terminal is baggage claim?
Airport employee: Terminal T.
Teenager: Wait…which one?
Airport employee: Terminal T. “T” as in “Charlie.”
JFK Airport
New York City, New York
Overheard by: