Names

Boy #1: Your girlfriend's name is Emily, right?
Boy #2: Kate.
Boy #1, shrugging: They're both animals.
Boy #2, agreeing: Both start with vowels.
Boy #1: What?
Boy #2: What?

Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: MaggieB

Frat boy: They called me “the virgin detector.”

Washington, DC

White guy: How do you pronounce your name? Is it “Ty”?
Asian guy: No, it's “Tee,” as in “teabagging.”
White guy: Oh. (pause) Wait! What?
Asian guy: Sorry, maybe I should have said “sweet tea.”

Atlanta, Georgia

Girl, about her dog: Yeah… My friends call him “Facefucker.”
Guy: What does that even mean?
Girl: It means he fucks faces.
Guy: Oh.

http://overheardinpdx.blogspot.com/2008/08/porn-dog.html

Overheard by: lauren

Guy: If I bought a handgun I would name it “Lady Boner.”

Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Claire

Girl #1: You know every time I see Tyler Perry I think about the white Tyler Perry.
Girl #2: That's Steven Perry from Aerosmith.
Girl #3: That's Steven Tyler.
Girl #1: Well, I'm talking about the Tyler Perry from Friends.
Girl #4: That's Mathew Perry!

Cancun
Mexico

We're Happy to Help, Dear Reader

Girl: Dude, Wikipedia “Rasputin” and ctrl+f “penis.”

Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Claire

Dopey girl #1: Have you seen the movie Sweet Sixteen? I mean, Sixteen Candles?
Dopey girl #2: Yeah!
Dopey girl #1: Yeah! Oh my god!

High School
La Jolla, California

Overheard by: God

Bearded old hobo: Heyyy, Cinderella.
Teenage girl: Um… hi!
Bearded old hobo: Want me to read the bible to ya?
Teenage girl: No thanks, I'm good.
Bearded old hobo: I know you are. (winks)

Outside Christian Science Reading Room
Boston, Massachusetts

Guy to girlfriend after late-night party: You name a breast after me, but you don't trust me?

West End
Portland, Maine