New Jersey

Girl: Oh my god, Amanda*, I haven't seen you in so long. I feel like I'm making bad decisions because I haven't seen you.
Amanda*: Ha, I feel like I'm making too many good decisions because I haven't seen you. We need to get me in more trouble. And maybe keep you out of it.

Hamilton, New Jersey

Overheard by: Currrly!

Guy on porch to girl with big boobs in low-cut top: I love me some triple Ds!
Girl with big boobs in low-cut top: Good call!

Rutgers University
New Brunswick, New Jersey

Furry man to girlfriend, loudly: So does your sister, like, *never* shave her legs?

Rutgers University
New Brunswick, New Jersey

Middle-aged woman: The last thing I want to do is get hit by a giant Tastycake!

Princeton, New Jersey

Five-year-old: Is Michael Jackson real?
Teenage sister, exasperatedly: Yes! How many times do we have to have this conversation?!

Margate, New Jersey

Overheard by: Chris S.

Male student in campus center: So once you put on the wetsuit, you pee all over yourself. Then you're warm for the whole time!

Princeton University
New Jersey

Overheard by: excuse me?

Professor to unmoving grad students: That's a fire alarm…pay no attention.

Princeton University
Princeton, New Jersey

Girl in statistics class: She told me, “you're gay.” How can I be gay? I had four–no, five and a half–servings of dick this morning.

Saint Peter's College
Jersey City, New Jersey

The Yankee Candle Scent That Never Made It to Shelves

Kid on bus: Ew! What's that smell?
Teacher: That's New Jersey.

School Bus
New Jersey

Overheard by: this guy

Male student: I mean, I thought she wanted me to cum on her tummy!

Rutgers University
New Jersey

Overheard by: Alice Haefeli