Woman to four-year-old daughter: Do not touch anything. Do you know what will happen if you touch something?
Little girl: You'll smack me in the face!
Liquor Store
New Jersey
Woman to four-year-old daughter: Do not touch anything. Do you know what will happen if you touch something?
Little girl: You'll smack me in the face!
Liquor Store
New Jersey
Asian teenage girl: Wait, so did Jesus ejaculate wine?
Starbucks
Red Bank, New Jersey
New Jersey guy #1: Dude, I bet Mother Teresa's pussy was like throwing a hot dog down a hallway.
New Jersey guy #2: Is that the bitch from the maple syrup bottle?
New Jersey
Overheard by: Cougar Bear
Woman to friend: Is she aware that we have three Talbots and a dog bakery?
Princeton University
New Jersey
English teacher: Going around is a sheet with some 1920s slang, so you can get used to it before we start reading The Great Gatsby. Okay, so, everyone knows what a flapper is…?
Tenth grader: Oh, like a transvestite, right?
Tinton Falls, New Jersey
Drunk teenage boy: Heyyy, ssssuuuuupp, buddd… (stumbles away)
Sober teenage boy: I guess he's too drunk to notice that we're not friends.
Red Bank, New Jersey
Girl: Oh my god, Amanda*, I haven't seen you in so long. I feel like I'm making bad decisions because I haven't seen you.
Amanda*: Ha, I feel like I'm making too many good decisions because I haven't seen you. We need to get me in more trouble. And maybe keep you out of it.
Hamilton, New Jersey
Overheard by: Currrly!
Guy on porch to girl with big boobs in low-cut top: I love me some triple Ds!
Girl with big boobs in low-cut top: Good call!
Rutgers University
New Brunswick, New Jersey
Furry man to girlfriend, loudly: So does your sister, like, *never* shave her legs?
Rutgers University
New Brunswick, New Jersey
Middle-aged woman: The last thing I want to do is get hit by a giant Tastycake!
Princeton, New Jersey
