Ten to One, Her Phone Is Turned Off

Preteen girl #1: Do you see all these blondes on the boxes? They should all be me. I should be on all these boxes.
Preteen girl #2: Did someone start a rumor about us? Because I haven't gotten any calls all day.

CVS
New Jersey

Posted on July 2, 2009
Cell phones, Gossip, New Jersey, Questions, Stupidity, Tweens

K, Guys?

Toolish guy: I don't believe that single consonants should be legitimate prepositions.

Dorm, Princeton University
Princeton, New Jersey

Overheard by: Mary Cait

Posted on June 26, 2009
Colleges & Universities, Idiots, New Jersey, Students, Stupidity, Words

And the State Will Take Both Of Us Away

Woman to four-year-old daughter: Do not touch anything. Do you know what will happen if you touch something?
Little girl: You'll smack me in the face!

Liquor Store
New Jersey

Posted on June 23, 2009
Kids, Moms, New Jersey, Questions, Stores, Threats, Violence, Weirdness

…As Seen in the Porno Take, Eat, This Is My Booty?

Asian teenage girl: Wait, so did Jesus ejaculate wine?

Starbucks
Red Bank, New Jersey

Posted on June 16, 2009
Asians, Cum, Default, Drinking & drunks, Girls, Jesus, New Jersey, Questions, Restaurants, Teens

That Bitch Is Sweet!

New Jersey guy #1: Dude, I bet Mother Teresa's pussy was like throwing a hot dog down a hallway.
New Jersey guy #2: Is that the bitch from the maple syrup bottle?

New Jersey

Overheard by: Cougar Bear

Posted on June 13, 2009
Christianity, Default, Food, Guys, New Jersey, Questions, Vagina

You Bake Dogs?

Woman to friend: Is she aware that we have three Talbots and a dog bakery?

Princeton University
New Jersey

Posted on June 5, 2009
Clothes, Colleges & Universities, Default, Food, Names, New Jersey, Questions, Women

The Feather Boas Are Confusing

English teacher: Going around is a sheet with some 1920s slang, so you can get used to it before we start reading The Great Gatsby. Okay, so, everyone knows what a flapper is…?
Tenth grader: Oh, like a transvestite, right?

Tinton Falls, New Jersey

Posted on June 2, 2009
Books, Compare and contrast, Default, New Jersey, Questions, Students, Teachers, Words

And That the Nineties Are Over

Drunk teenage boy: Heyyy, ssssuuuuupp, buddd… (stumbles away)
Sober teenage boy: I guess he's too drunk to notice that we're not friends.

Red Bank, New Jersey

Posted on May 30, 2009
Default, Drinking & drunks, Drunks, Guys, New Jersey, Relationships, Teens, Words

Remember the Time We Woke Up Handcuffed to That Goat?

Girl: Oh my god, Amanda*, I haven't seen you in so long. I feel like I'm making bad decisions because I haven't seen you.
Amanda*: Ha, I feel like I'm making too many good decisions because I haven't seen you. We need to get me in more trouble. And maybe keep you out of it.

Hamilton, New Jersey

Overheard by: Currrly!

Posted on May 23, 2009
Compare and contrast, Default, Feelings, Girls, New Jersey, Relationships

With the Gift Of Judging Cup Size by Sight Comes Great Responsibility

Guy on porch to girl with big boobs in low-cut top: I love me some triple Ds!
Girl with big boobs in low-cut top: Good call!

Rutgers University
New Brunswick, New Jersey

Posted on May 21, 2009
Body parts, Colleges & Universities, Default, Feelings, Girls, Guys, New Jersey, Words