Taught Me the “White Elephant”

College guy: I went to sleep-away camp so long ago my counselor was Jesus Christ!

University of Rochester
Rochester, New York

Posted on September 11, 2020
Age and ageing, Bragging, Colleges & Universities, Default, Guys, Jesus, Leisure, Memory lane, New York, Students

What Apple?

Girlfriend: You’re still tying your shoes with bunny ears?
Boyfriend: The other way is really hard!
Girlfriend: It’s so easy!
Boyfriend: Look, I have to do the bunny ears. I can’t tie my shoes the other way. It’s like, the bunny goes around the tree 50 billion times, then hides in its hole, comes out and the mongoose chases it… Then the rabbit eats the apple!

High school
Hamburg, New York

Posted on August 20, 2020
Couples, New York, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Stupidity

While You, Me, and Dupre Taught Me to Value Threesomes

Cute girl to friend: But I don't want a booty call! (pause) But the message of the notebook made me realize how important they are.

Cornell University
Ithaca, New York

Overheard by: Anna

Posted on July 23, 2020
Colleges & Universities, Default, Friends, Girls, Laptops, New York, Sexuality, Wishes

In the Hamptons, That’s a Marriage Proposal

Guy from inside Port-A-Potty: Oh, shit, I just dropped my BlackBerry in there!
Friend: Oh, man, what are you gonna do?!
Guy: Well, somebody’s got to stick their hand in there!
Dude waiting in line: I think I’ll use the other one. I don’t want to be the first person to piss on your BlackBerry.

Rock the Farm Benefit
East Hampton, New York

Posted on July 21, 2020
Cell phones, Friends, Guys, New York, Pee, Poop

That's for Church

Four-year-old boy to group of mothers: Guess what!
Group: What?
Four-year-old boy, excited: I just peed standing up!
Boy's father: That's not something we tell people!

Children's Room, Katonah Library
Katonah, New York

Overheard by: amused librarian

Posted on July 12, 2020
Dads, Gender issues, Kids, Moms, New York, Pee

But We Have Legal Marijuana

Canadian tourist #1: Guys, you know what the States have that most of Canada doesn’t?
Three others: What?
Canadian tourist #1: Black people…

Buffalo, New York

Overheard by: Bored At Work

Posted on July 8, 2020
New York, Race, Tourists

Is He Talking About Vagina? Discuss.

Little boy to mother: Mommy, it smells like eating wieners… right?

Walgreens Parking Lot
Port Chester, New York

Overheard by: Ldawg

Posted on July 4, 2020
Compare and contrast, Food, Kids, Moms, New York, Parenting, Questions, Sexuality

Translation: “Welcome to New York, Muthafuckaaaas.”

MTA worker to tourist mom buying tickets with daughter: 10 dollars.
Mom: Oh, but she's a student.
Worker, looking at daughter: Oh! How nice for you! (looks back at mom) Ten dollars please.

Subway Station
New York City, New York

Overheard by: Glad thats not my cheap-ass mom