Professor: [the guest speaker] apologized for being so hard on you guys. Although she was kinda drunk when she did…
Student: That kinda compromises her honor.
Professor: Oh, trust me, her honor was compromised long before that.
Marist College
Poughkeepsie, New York
Teen girl #1: He offered it to me in church–I mean, who offers someone marijuana in church?
Teen girl #2: When else could he do it?
Long Island, New York
Overheard by: Colleen
High school girl in hot tub #1: Ugh, my bikini won't stop falling down!
High school girl in hot tub #2: You do look a little… undersupported. Do you wanna trade tops?
High school girl in hot tub #1: Really?
High school girl in hot tub #2: Yeah, it's not like I need the support.
High school girl in hot tub #1: True.
(high school boys in hot tub stare intently)
Westchester, New York
Overheard by: Jenny Suburbs
College girl #1: You know, just because I want to hit it doesn't mean you have to, too.
College girl #2: But now that it's shaved, it's so much better!
Cornell University
Ithaca, New York
Old man, about Jessica Simpson “how I found love again” mag cover: She can't find someone to lighten her roots, but she found love. Thank god.
Mamaroneck, New York
Overheard by: Melissa
Camp counselor: Do you know if Bill has a Jack, offhand?
Camp Cory
Penn Yann, New York
Overheard by: i refuse to speculate
Pubescent boy screaming at elderly passerby: Fuck you! Fuck you! You, right there! Fuck you! (aside) Man, I gotta write an email. (screaming again) Your mother has a dick!
Eastchester, New York
Middle-aged Jewish lady with thick Queens accent flipping through People magazine: So, what do you think about this whole thing with Madonna?
90-year-old man sitting next to her: Who?
Middle-aged Jewish lady: Madonna.
Man: Who?
Middle-aged Jewish lady: Madonna.
Man: Who?
Middle-aged Jewish lady: Madonna!
Man: Oh! The colored guy! Yeah, I don't think he'll win.
Jetblue Flight
Florida to New York
Overheard by: JoeQ
Girl, bursting into meeting: I just caught my period, yo!
Administrator, looking up: Congratulations?
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Me
Obvious minor: Can I get a pack of Marlboro lights?
Mini-mart man: Do you have ID?
Obvious minor, indignant: Yeah, but I don't have it on me!
Mini-mart man: Would you like two packs for $9.45?
Obvious minor: No thanks, I'm trying to cut down.
Greenport, New York
