New York

Girl: Dang, it's raining!
Boy: Do you have an umbrella?
Girl: Yeah. I hate umbrellas.
Boy, surprisingly vehemently: Suck it up!

Syracuse University
Syracuse, New York

20-something boyfriend: What's it called when girls put brown around their lips?
20-something girlfriend: Lip liner?
20-something boyfriend: Yeah. Why don't you wear that?
20-something girlfriend: Because it's not 1995, and I'm not going on the Ricki Lake show.

Manhattan, New York

Mom changing toddler’s diaper: Honey, it appears that you have glitter on your penis.

Mount Vernon, New York

Overheard by: Deek

Elderly woman #1: How's your mother?
Elderly woman #2: She's great! She wants to get euthanized!

Chappaqua, New York

Black woman #1: I hate when people wait to the last minute to try and get off at a stop.
Black woman #2: Mmm-hmm.
Black woman #1: I don't let them past if they try to do that shit.
Black woman #2: What you do?
Black woman #1: I'll push their mothafuckin' ass back on the train!

Subway
New York City

Laughing man: Yeah, a lot of kids were conceived that night, especially after they broke out the crotchless panties.

Watkins Glen, New York

High school girl: I've gone to second base with a guy, but have done pretty much everything with a girl. Because penises are scary.

Forest of Fear
Tuxedo, New York

Overheard by: Kaitlen

Professor: [the guest speaker] apologized for being so hard on you guys. Although she was kinda drunk when she did…
Student: That kinda compromises her honor.
Professor: Oh, trust me, her honor was compromised long before that.

Marist College
Poughkeepsie, New York

Teen girl #1: He offered it to me in church–I mean, who offers someone marijuana in church?
Teen girl #2: When else could he do it?

Long Island, New York

Overheard by: Colleen

High school girl in hot tub #1: Ugh, my bikini won't stop falling down!
High school girl in hot tub #2: You do look a little… undersupported. Do you wanna trade tops?
High school girl in hot tub #1: Really?
High school girl in hot tub #2: Yeah, it's not like I need the support.
High school girl in hot tub #1: True.
(high school boys in hot tub stare intently)

Westchester, New York

Overheard by: Jenny Suburbs