Guy: I try to cover my butt so girls don't stare at it.
Girl: He's so butt-conceited.
Rochester, New York
Guy to girl: So you heard about Dave, right? His girlfriend broke up with him last night. He got completely wasted and tried to kill himself by drinking a bottle of shampoo.
Girl: Oh my god! Is he okay?
Guy: Yeah, turns out you cant kill yourself by drinking shampoo. We're calling him “bubbles” now. He'll never live this down.
Lockport, New York
Overheard by: evan
Flamboyant male: Fuck you, Gatorade! Fuck you!
SUNY Purchase
New York
Tall girl: Because you can still wear it under your clothes and be like, “Oh yeah, I have sexy underwear on and you'd only see it if I took my clothes off.”
Short girl: Or if you bend over, which I do a lot.
Woodstock, New York
Frat boy to another: It was the ugliest lipstick I've ever seen!
Cornell University
Ithaca, New York
Overheard by: Anna
History professor, during lecture: After all, people have always had dirty…nasty…raunchy sex.
Syracuse University, New York
Overheard by: del
Girl #1: I'm 20-orgasms horny!
Girl #2: I'm 100-orgasms horny!
Girl #3: I'm masturbate-in-my-class horny!
Girl #1: I'm stick-a-banana-in-my-ass horny!
Syracuse University, New York
Overheard by: gelatinous
Dude: Unless you can show me one big titted cat!
Marist College
Poughkeepsie, New York
Overheard by: Russ
Dad to daughters: I've stolen more bellybuttons than you can count.
Rochester, New York
Overheard by: Jude
