Hungover girl #1: I really feel like an ass.
Hungover girl #2: Why do you feel like an ass?
Hungover girl #1: Well I did throw a drink on someone.
Hungover girl #2, nodding: And got kicked out of the bar twice.
Wilmington, North Carolina
Hungover girl #1: I really feel like an ass.
Hungover girl #2: Why do you feel like an ass?
Hungover girl #1: Well I did throw a drink on someone.
Hungover girl #2, nodding: And got kicked out of the bar twice.
Wilmington, North Carolina
Whitey thug: I can’t listen to you anymore! You just ended a sentence with a motherfucking preposition!
Gas station
North Carolina
Overheard by: KommissarKrunch
Drunk girl puking in bathroom stall to drunk girl puking in stall next to her: It's okay! I'm throwing up too!
Wake Forest University
Winston-Salem, North Carolina
Four-year-old boy: I said, all I want is underwear!
Banana Republic
Smithfield, North Carolina
Overheard by: Bryan
Guy to friend: Do you have a reason to riverdance on my testicles?
Boone, North Carolina
Chick #1: What is that? A rape whistle?
Chick #2, wearing whistle around neck: Yeah, it is! [Blows it loudly] I’m gonna rape you!
Cans Bar & Canteen
Charlotte, North Carolina
Overheard by: Devon
Man: What does it say in the bible about punching your son in the face?
Starbucks
Durham, North Carolina
Overheard by: wondering the same thing myself
Teenage boy: She said his bazooka was too big for her funhole.
High School
North Carolina
Overheard by: aWkWaRd
Woman: I'll be at the bar tonight and I'll be all, “hey guys, I bought this shirt at Kohl's for five bucks! And I'm single! And you won't have to call me ever because I'm from Virginia!”
Raleigh, North Carolina
Professor, going over syllabus: Because of schedule changes, the apocalypse will be postponed.
Seminary classroom
North Carolina
Overheard by: good, that gives me another week
