Hot girl: Either my dog is eating my underwear, or my vagina is so acidic it’s burning holes in them… Neither of which I would be pleased about.
Charlotte, North Carolina
Hot girl: Either my dog is eating my underwear, or my vagina is so acidic it’s burning holes in them… Neither of which I would be pleased about.
Charlotte, North Carolina
Chick, during silence: … So I woke him up at like two in the morning and was like, ‘Holy fuck!’ … Oh, sorry. I guess I should explain myself.
Lecture hall, Wake Forest University
Winston-Salem, North Carolina
Mom: Honey, do you wanna take off your princess dress, get naked, and get in a bucket?
Four-year-old aspiring princess: No.
Mom: Well, I do.
North Carolina
Coed #1: So we're finally officially dating. I mean it's been, like, six months!
Coed #2: Great! That's moving forward!
Coed #1: Yeah. He said the first six months I was on “dating probation” and now I'm on “girlfriend probation.” His friend got drunk at the bar and was all like “what, you haven't made her official yet?” so he's like, “you have my friend to thank for this.”
UNCG
Greensboro, North Carolina
Overheard by: Put him on boyfriend probation
Guy: I told him to stop buying me shots.
Girl: That don't mean you got to drink em'!
Bar
Charlotte, North Carolina
Freshmen: So, like, where do you want to go college?
Junior: Oh, I don’t know… Maybe somewhere around the New England area?
Freshmen: Oh… So, like, where is that? In Britain or something?
Winston-Salem, North Carolina
Overheard by: Dumbstruck
Little boy in ladies' room stall : You know mom, in Europe all the bathrooms are unisex.
Mom: Probably why it's such a godless country.
JCPenney
Greensboro, North Carolina
Overheard by: diesel
New Yorker: So how do you like it down here?
Local thug: If it weren't for the double d breasts and sexy feet, I would've gotten the hell out of here years ago.
Fayetteville, North Carolina
Man, taking seat in airport lounge: Wow, this is the first time I've worn pants since…
Woman with him: Since the last time we flew. Feels weird, doesn't it?
Airport Lounge
North Carolina
Sorostitute #1: So, he tried walking me back to his frat house and he was holding my hand… I should’ve fucked him, right?
Sorostitute #2: What? You just met him! And he’s hooked up with Patricia*. I mean, hellooo — bad taste.
Sorostitute #1: I totally should have. I mean, he was holding my hand, after all.
Duke University
Durham, North Carolina
