Mom, with neck tattoo reading “ape” to toddler daughter picking produce: Put that back. That is not what you think it is.
Wal-Mart
Tulsa, Oklahoma
Overheard by: Kathyp
Girl #1: I hallucinated that you and my boyfriend had sex in the spirit world! I think I hallucinated I was using an umbrella in the shower this morning.
Girl #2: Uh. No… Sorry, I found one in our shower.
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Random guy: Man, you just gotta cowboy the fuck up and tell the dumb bitch you’re doing her in the ass!
Moe’s Southwest Grill
Norman, Oklahoma
Guy: Men are bastards. I'm a man.
Girl: Then what does that make you?
Guy: Huh?
Girl: You said men are bastards. So then what does that make you?
Guy, not paying attention: Wanna dance?
Norman, Oklahoma
Emo teen girl with water bottle: I mean, it’s not like I’m drinking all this just to pass a drug test. It would be nice to pass one, though…
Jenks, Oklahoma
Boyfriend: But baby, I don’t want bloody arms!
Girlfriend: Then talk to me about my feet!
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Cashier: Want to hear the lamest shit? I went to get Subway for lunch… And they were out of bread! Completely out! What the fuck is up with that?
Norman, Oklahoma
Chick: I really think my gynecologist helps our relationship, though.
Starbucks
Edmond, Oklahoma
Roommate on phone: You've gotta get through the ribcage.
University of Oklahoma
Norman, Oklahoma
Overheard by: Wondering what they're planning.
Teen girl to friend: I'm too sexy for my vulva.
Tulsa, Oklahoma
