Lab TA: This is bromium chloride. If you have guys in your group, have them work with it. If not, girls, I hope you’re not pregnant. It tends to cause birth defects and cancer.
Chick #1 in back of room, whispering: You guys, I can’t touch that stuff!
Chick #2: Why not? Are you pregnant?
Chick #1: You see, that’s the thing — I don’t know…
Oklahoma State University
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Overheard by: She’s majoring in drunken sorority girl
30-something Catholic to girlfriend: I think I'm giving up masturbation for lent. (long pause) I think I might just give up masturbation.
Norman, Oklahoma
20-something man on cell: I've got women. I started my own religion. I don't give a shit if hipsters don't think I'm cool. (pause) I know in my heart I'm a fucking genius. If I died tonight, there would be a massive white trash orgasm. (pause) If you're so bad, your soul goes into a wax museum. We should make our own rap music. We'll be so good they'll put us in a mausoleum, like Stalin.
Norman, Oklahoma
Girlfriend: Those sculptures over there look nice.
Boyfriend: Baby, I think they're vaginas.
Norman, Oklahoma
Girl #1: You should stop meeting guys off the internet so much. They're creepy.
Girl #2: The internet is the best place to meet people. I met a rapist at a job interview, a pimp at the airport, and a pedophile at church.
Norman, Oklahoma
Man in Mötley Crüe t-shirt to little girl: But yeah, I think I'd bring Kurt Cobain back for a day just for the fun of it.
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Overweight middle-aged woman, about infant crying non-stop: Oh my god, seriously, somebody just kill it.
Target
Norman, Oklahoma
Young woman: And if he's still giving you mixed signals, he can just go suck his own dick.
Frustrated friend: That's the point! If he'd give me a clear sign, I'd do it for him!
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Girl #1: Oh my god! You sounded so much like Katharine Hepburn just then!
Girl #2: I sounded like who?
Girl #1: Well, never mind, you stopped doing it. Bitch.
Couch Dorm
University of Oklahoma
Female student to friend at bus stop: So, he was, like, freakishly quiet, but every now and then he would bust out with something that, you know, we would say, you know, like, (bursts into song) “Do you like waffles? Yeah, I like waffles!” (in normal voice) And, you know, I would be, like, “Woah! He is a real person.”
University of Oklahoma
Overheard by: becauseobviouslyallnormalpeoplelikewaffles
