Math professor, after reading from textbook: I just lost all interest in life.
Portland, Oregon
Math professor, after reading from textbook: I just lost all interest in life.
Portland, Oregon
Waiter: Table for three?
Middle aged woman: No, four. I know we look like three but…
Waiter: No, I get it. Imaginary friend.
Tasty Thai
Eugene, Oregon
Overheard by: nyssa
Mom to cashier: And we'll have a water.
Little girl: But I want Pepsi!
Mom: We're getting water Pepsi!
Little girl: Yaaaaay!
Mom, winking at amused cashier: When you have kids of your own, water Pepsi is the greatest invention ever.
Medford, Oregon
Random hobo: Curse your pagan gods.
Portland, Oregon
Girl in bathroom: Fuck! My pussy smells like root beer!
BJ's
Eugene, Oregon
Overheard by: nyssa
Bus driver: Folks, this just in from the weather service, I just thought I'd pass it along to you all. Don't let all these clouds fool you, there's a high heat warning in effect for Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, gumdrops, and…snow cones, so if you have any of those items, you'd better keep them inside. That's all.
Bus #17
Portland, Oregon
Overheard by: The Redhead
Nurse #1: How was your weekend?
Nurse #2: It was great, except Heather* got kind of wild. I mean I've never seen anyone be…first drink they're fine, second drink they're fine, third drink they're naked and pole dancing.
Nurse #1, shaking head: Wow.
Nurse #2: Yeah, it was probably a mistake to go drinking at the bar she used to work at.
Heather*: I don't remember any of it, but when I got home my bra was filled with twenties.
Albany General Hospital
Albany, Oregon
Father to four-year-old: Stop spanking the eggplant!
Portland, Oregon
Overheard by: Kay
Girl on cell: Why are you going to the gynecologist? (pause) Everybody has discharge!
Beaverton, Oregon
Overheard by: CoRri
Guy to girlfriend: And after that, I was just done. It took the icing on the cake…or whatever.
Girlfriend: What cake?
Aloha Highschool
Oregon
