Professor: We are going to talk about tea rooms. Which involve no tea. Unless by “tea,” you mean “cock.”
Columbus,Ohio
Overheard by: Em
Asian girl: Can I have two penises?
Market Street
San Francisco, California
Tall adolescent: Peach sucks. Daisy's okay, but peach sucks.
Short adolescent: See, I've always been more of a toad fan. Even if he does look kind of like a circumcised wang.
Tall adolescent: Oh, you.
Missoula, Montana
Enthusiastic teenager, waving hands emphatically: If you can deep throat a banana, you can suck a dick!
Tallahassee, Florida
Overheard by: If you can wax a car…
Girl: What smells like lemon poppy seed cupcakes?
Guy: It might be my penis.
Bayonne, New Jersey
Stoner guitarist: I got shot in the dick with an Airsoft. Seriously, check this shit out. (unzips his pants)
Guy: Just to let you know, before you do that, I am a homosexual.
Local Show
Gulfport, Mississippi
Girl to friend, walking from their car: Jesus, Amber, nobody thinks you have a penis.
Nashville, Tennessee
Guy on cell: It’s easy — just grab the dick in one hand and a beer in the other!
Carmen’s Bodega
Alingsås
Sweden
Overheard by: rymden
