Pennsylvania

Old lady to another: Mary started crying because she thought they were taking her back to New Jersey.

Pizza Shop
Lima, Pennsylvania

Girl: Jazmin*, what was you doing in the bathroom?
Jazmin: Oh, you know…
Boy across the hall: She was taking a dump!
Jazmin: Yup! That’s what we do all day, every day.

Public High School
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: andromeda

Drunk girl: Look! I have salt stains all over my pants. I'm a car.

Saint Joseph's University
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Young woman to another: Oh, you could pull that off, but *I* would like a pedophile.
Passer-by to friend: I don't think that means what she thinks it means… We can only hope.

Phildelphia, Pennsylvania

Loud girl: Listen to me! I saw that hairy vagina! It was right in front of my face!
Loud guy: Can we please engage in a different conversation?

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Young woman #1: You know, Ginger and Craig, with the breadcrumbs and all that.
Young woman #2: You mean Hansel and Gretel!?
Young woman #1: Oh. Yeah, them.
Young woman #2: Wow.

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Girl: Do you ever get the feeling we're, like, related to monkeys?

Bryn Mawr College
Pennsylvania

Guy: That dude's gonna get a blowjob in 20 minutes.

Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

College guy #1: I think racism is just really bad OCD!
College guy #2: Haha, yeah!

University of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

Girl: It's not “oh, I got laid underwater.” It's that I got to know the person and got close to them before I went underwater.

Psychology Class
University of Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Emily