Girl: Hey, how about this one? Have you heard the one about the ceiling?
Blonde: Um, no.
Girl: Oh, well never mind, it's *way* too over your head.
Blonde: No, tell me! I'm not that dumb!
Girl (shaking head): Never mind, you don't get it. Hmmm, what about the one about the postcard with no stamp? Oh, never mind, you wouldn't ever get it.
Blonde: Really, I think I could. Tell me, let me try!
Spring Grove, Pennsylvania
Cute chick in line: Oh! I want Haribo gummi bears! I need a snack to study effectively. There are lots of things I don't do effectively without snacking.
Boyfriend: Maybe you should try snacking next time we have sex. You know, maybe a little popcorn…a candy bar…
Cute chick: Are you saying my sex isn't effective? Well, maybe there won't be a next time.
Boyfriend: You know, you're not responding very well to constructive criticism. The solution is to keep trying, not to give up.
CVS
University City, Philadelphia
Overheard by: justtryingtowaitinline
Porn-'stached scuzzball: I mean, if you ever, like, masturbated, you'd know that smell.
Robinson, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: And I Go To College With You??
Mother: Do you want to go poop on mommy's floor, or make in the potty?
Two-year-old: The potty!
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: meg
Girl #1: And everyone was like, “What? This isn't what was on the study sheet! This test is unfair! We're so confused!”
Girl #2: Oh, wow. Were you confused, too?
Girl #1: No, I didn't look at the study sheet. I went downstairs and drank a bottle of wine with you.
Saint Joseph's University
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Psychology professor: We allowed homosexuals to do their own sex.
University of Pennsylvania
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Emily
(in a philosophy class, the subject of “lovemaking vs. fucking” is being discussed)
Angry feminist student: Guys have it so easy! You can go out and fuck any girl you want and no one thinks any worse of you, but if a girl sleeps around she's a slut! Hell, if you somehow don't manage to nail the girl, you can just go home and masturbate. Girl's can't do that!
Female student who hadn't spoken a word all class: Pff, yes we can!
Penn State
Altoona, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: A guy in the same class
Acting professor: He was a mime…son of a bitch! He and his wife were both mimes. Mimes! Mimes! Mimes!
Point Park University
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: ZB
Marriage and family therapy professor: If you're living, shit's happening.
Chestnut Hill College
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Older lady customer: Are you Chris?
Manager guy: No, I'm Mike.
Older lady customer: Are you Carl?
Manager guy: No, I'm still Mike.
Perkins Restaurant
Westfall, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Veronica @ http://everythingisused.blogspot.com/
