I Find That a Relaxed No-Mindedness Is Much More Effective

Mother: Don’t talk now, honey. Concentrate.
Little girl: Concentrate on the poo! Concentrate on the poo!

Bathroom, Newark Int’l Airport
Newark, New Jersey

Posted on November 7, 2014
Glad the condom broke, Moms, New Jersey, Poop

Are There No Orphanages?

Mother with baby to other son: You are being such a nuisance. Your brother is sitting with poopy pants because you refuse to leave.

Wilmington, Delaware

Posted on November 5, 2014
Clothes, Default, Delaware, Health & Hygiene, Kids, Moms, Poop

Some Spies May Be Adorable, but They Get the Job Done

Girl on cell in library: It's crunch time, sparky!

Marist College
Poughkeepsie, New York

Overheard by: Russ

Posted on August 25, 2011
Etiquette, Girls, New York, Poop, Weirdness

Or to Have Palin As Our Number Two

Boyfriend to girlfriend: It is my sole wish not to have to go number two tonight.

Obama Rally
Chicago, Illinois

Posted on June 25, 2011
Couples, Illinois, Poop, Weirdness, Wishes

Why Google Exists.

Fashionable girl on cell: Do you think you can catch pink eye from getting poop in your eye?

Chicago, Illinois

Posted on June 13, 2011
Girls, Health & Hygiene, Illinois, On the phone, Poop, Questions

Gosh, I Miss Circuit Parties.

Nurse #1: Constipated and a lot of bloody stool.
Nurse #2: (laughs uproariously)

North Shore Hospital
Long Island, New York

Overheard by: Ladle

Posted on May 28, 2011
Etiquette, Health & Hygiene, New York, Nurses, Poop

Why Do You Think They Called It “The Battle Of the Bulge”?

Old man to another, over lunch: And once one of the Germans got constipated, none of us could shit for weeks!

Valparaiso, Indiana

Posted on May 16, 2011
Gossip, Indiana, Old folks, Poop, Weirdness

…The Prostitutes and Junkies Will Think You're Uncouth.

Sleazy 40-something drunk, pointing and laughing at embarrassed 20-something: And then he got poo all over his knob!
20-something: For fuck's sake dad! Shut up!

Red Light District
Amsterdam

Overheard by: Bleep

Posted on March 27, 2011
Body parts, Drunks, Netherlands, Poop, Stupidity

That's Not a Nice Way to Talk About the Bravo Network.

Eight-year-old boy to eight-year-old girl: You have to go to college! Otherwise you'll have to work in the poop factory!
Eight-year-old girl: There's no such thing as the poop factory!
Six-year-old brother: Yes there is! Remember?

Portland, Oregon

Posted on March 20, 2011
Advice, Education, Jobs & Careers, Kids, Oregon, Poop

Even the Air at Whole Foods Is Rich in Fiber

Wife to husband: You're back already? That was the quickest poop you've ever done!

Whole Foods
Alexandria, Virginia

Posted on January 21, 2011
Compliments, Couples, Poop, Virginia, Weirdness

Poop