Wait 'til You Hear My Story About the Tooth Fairy and Easter Bunny's Gay Orgy

Three-year-old boy: Do Santa and Batman fly in the sky together?
Mom: I hope they're careful if they do, because otherwise… Batmobile crashes into Santa's sleigh, boom! (makes explosion noises) Santa and Batman. Dead.
Three-year-old boy: (laughs hysterically)
Auntie: I'm glad he laughed at that, otherwise you were getting the “worst mom” award.

Antelope, California

Overheard by: Megan

Posted on July 14, 2015
California, Compare and contrast, Death & dying, Family, Kids, Moms, Parenting, Pop culture, Questions, Wishes

And Have an Orgy to Celebrate– Right, Mommy?

Seven-year-old daughter, confused: Mommy, why's the play called Murder on the Ides?
Mom: Well, it's about Julius Caesar, a Roman leader. See, in this country, when we don't like our leader anymore, we vote 'em out. But the Romans…
Seven-year-old daughter, excitedly: Oh! Oh! They kill them!!

Colgate University
Madison County, New York

Overheard by: Jake

Posted on July 1, 2015
Colleges & Universities, Death & dying, Default, Family ties, Girls, History, Kids, Moms, New York, Pop culture, Women

You Have to Put Balls in a Lot Of Faces Before Your Find Someone Who Likes It

13-year-old boy in pool: Guys, let's play water Pokemon!
Friends: Okay!
13-year-old boy: I'll be Scuba Scott. Scuba Scott uses ball-to-face! (hits friend in face with ball)
Friend: Owwww! Scott, why'd you do that?!
13-year-old boy: It's super-effective!

Recreation Center Pool
Colorado

Posted on June 23, 2015
Colorado, Friends, Pop culture, Violence, Weirdness

The Sad Thing Is, Not Everyone Thinks You're Crazy.

Attractive teenage girl on cell, visibly upset: Man, not even my therapist understands my concerns that I'm not emotionally ready for Harry Potter to end. It's all just very sad and everyone thinks I'm crazy. Goddamn.

Alabama