Girl: I was watching this show the other night about large white British men who were sent to Africa to learn to hunt. It was called Fat Men Can't Hump. Wait! No! “Hunt”! It was called Fat Men Can't Hunt. Of course they can hump… If they want to.
Post-Colonial Literature Lecture
University of British Columbia
Canadia
Overheard by: Martha Carscadden
Guy watching Macy’s commercial: Ugh! This American obsession with consumerism is just disgusting! Not to mention flawed.
Sarcastic girl: What the hell do you think you are, Mr. Abercrombie jeans? Jamaican?
Western Washington University
Bellingham, Washington
Overheard by: He was obviously a freshman
Little girl to mother: Mommy, where's Aladdin?
Mother: He'll come soon, sweetie.
(repeats this for ten minutes)
Little girl, seeing Aladdin on the stage: Who is that?
Mother: Aladdin.
Little girl: Where's Jasmine?
Adventure Theater
Anaheim, California
Teen prep: Shell is a lot more expensive than GetGo these days. (later) I'm missing a lifetime movie right now!
Father: She's like Zippy the Pinhead!
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Shoppy
Middle-aged woman: No, I haven’t read Harry Potter. I’m not really into all that futuristic stuff.
Saratoga Springs, New York
Guy to friend: Jeff Gordon riding a Velociraptor alongside Jesus…
Appalchian State University
Boone, North Carolina
Overheard by: Diana Mason
Hobo to pretty girl walking by: You remind me of Mona Lisa! Man, I wish I were that pretty!
Mass Ave
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Michelle
College girl: I don't want to spam twenty people! I just want to know what fucking Disney princess I am!
Hofstra University
Long Island, New York
Obnoxious 20-something chick: We went to a Yankees game and had the worst seats ever. We didn’t even see Derek Jeter’s ass! … Or anyone’s ass.
IHOP
Green Bay, Wisconsin
Blonde: There was a Ken doll encased in jello in the fridge.
Pocket Sandwich Theater
Dallas, Texas
