Hobo to pretty girl walking by: You remind me of Mona Lisa! Man, I wish I were that pretty!
Mass Ave
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Michelle
Hobo to pretty girl walking by: You remind me of Mona Lisa! Man, I wish I were that pretty!
Mass Ave
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Michelle
College girl: I don't want to spam twenty people! I just want to know what fucking Disney princess I am!
Hofstra University
Long Island, New York
Obnoxious 20-something chick: We went to a Yankees game and had the worst seats ever. We didn’t even see Derek Jeter’s ass! … Or anyone’s ass.
IHOP
Green Bay, Wisconsin
Blonde: There was a Ken doll encased in jello in the fridge.
Pocket Sandwich Theater
Dallas, Texas
Economics professor, suddenly, in a creepy voice: Noooo you may not! Aquaman, you cannot marry a woman without gills! [Continuing in normal voice.] No? Anybody? No? Shame on you all! Just wait a few more years and you’ll get what I’m talking about and you will be so pleased.
Tufts University
Massachusetts
Overheard by: Adrian
Guy: Yeah, so Boyd Rice–
Blonde punk: –Your obsession with Boyd Rice is just as bad as my obsession with Richard Simmons.
Guy: Yeah, pretty much.
Wendy’s
Round Rock, Texas
Three-year-old boy: Do Santa and Batman fly in the sky together?
Mom: I hope they're careful if they do, because otherwise… Batmobile crashes into Santa's sleigh, boom! (makes explosion noises) Santa and Batman. Dead.
Three-year-old boy: (laughs hysterically)
Auntie: I'm glad he laughed at that, otherwise you were getting the “worst mom” award.
Antelope, California
Overheard by: Megan
Seven-year-old daughter, confused: Mommy, why's the play called Murder on the Ides?
Mom: Well, it's about Julius Caesar, a Roman leader. See, in this country, when we don't like our leader anymore, we vote 'em out. But the Romans…
Seven-year-old daughter, excitedly: Oh! Oh! They kill them!!
Colgate University
Madison County, New York
Overheard by: Jake
13-year-old boy in pool: Guys, let's play water Pokemon!
Friends: Okay!
13-year-old boy: I'll be Scuba Scott. Scuba Scott uses ball-to-face! (hits friend in face with ball)
Friend: Owwww! Scott, why'd you do that?!
13-year-old boy: It's super-effective!
Recreation Center Pool
Colorado
Attractive teenage girl on cell, visibly upset: Man, not even my therapist understands my concerns that I'm not emotionally ready for Harry Potter to end. It's all just very sad and everyone thinks I'm crazy. Goddamn.
Alabama
