Little girl to mother: Mommy, where's Aladdin?
Mother: He'll come soon, sweetie.
(repeats this for ten minutes)
Little girl, seeing Aladdin on the stage: Who is that?
Mother: Aladdin.
Little girl: Where's Jasmine?
Adventure Theater
Anaheim, California
Teen prep: Shell is a lot more expensive than GetGo these days. (later) I'm missing a lifetime movie right now!
Father: She's like Zippy the Pinhead!
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Shoppy
Middle-aged woman: No, I haven’t read Harry Potter. I’m not really into all that futuristic stuff.
Saratoga Springs, New York
Guy to friend: Jeff Gordon riding a Velociraptor alongside Jesus…
Appalchian State University
Boone, North Carolina
Overheard by: Diana Mason
Hobo to pretty girl walking by: You remind me of Mona Lisa! Man, I wish I were that pretty!
Mass Ave
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Michelle
College girl: I don't want to spam twenty people! I just want to know what fucking Disney princess I am!
Hofstra University
Long Island, New York
Obnoxious 20-something chick: We went to a Yankees game and had the worst seats ever. We didn’t even see Derek Jeter’s ass! … Or anyone’s ass.
IHOP
Green Bay, Wisconsin
Blonde: There was a Ken doll encased in jello in the fridge.
Pocket Sandwich Theater
Dallas, Texas
Economics professor, suddenly, in a creepy voice: Noooo you may not! Aquaman, you cannot marry a woman without gills! [Continuing in normal voice.] No? Anybody? No? Shame on you all! Just wait a few more years and you’ll get what I’m talking about and you will be so pleased.
Tufts University
Massachusetts
Overheard by: Adrian
Guy: Yeah, so Boyd Rice–
Blonde punk: –Your obsession with Boyd Rice is just as bad as my obsession with Richard Simmons.
Guy: Yeah, pretty much.
Wendy’s
Round Rock, Texas
