Questions

The pilot is sitting in the cockpit making clicking noises and singing in a falsetto voice.

Flight attendant: Are you high?

On the runway
Dulles, Virginia

Overheard by: first class is scary

Boy #1: So, I never got what the difference was between liberals and conservatives.
Boy #2: Well, conservatives like big business, and liberals like communism.
Boy #1: Oh. What if I want to be both?
Boy #2: You can't be both. It's an on/off thing. Like, you're either pregnant or you're not. Or like you're Christian or you're Islam.

High School
Minnesota

Seven-year-old girl with speech impediment: I told everyone in class I was going to the Kentucky Derby.
Mother: Did people know what the Derby was?
Seven-year-old girl: Alicia didn't! She was like “what is the Derby?” but everyone else in the class knew!
Mother: Well, that is because she is from Russia.
Seven-year-old girl: And New Hampshire.
Mother: She's from Russia.
Seven-year-old girl: And New Hampshire?…I told her I was sorry she was adopted.

Southwest Flight above Chicago, Illinois

Engineer #1: We’re playing my little ponies?!
Engineer #2: Oh, god.
Engineer #1: Dude, we’re gonna fucking kill them! [Laughs maniacally].

Northwestern University
Evanston, Illinois

Lipstick lesbian #1: If we move into a house, we’re going to have to get some new stuff…
Lipstick lesbian #2: Wait… How did the pilgrims cut their grass?
Lipstick lesbian #1: Um, I think they had cows.

Fox and Hound
Indianapolis, Indiana

Woman to male friend: I am trying to figure out how long 14 minutes and 6 minutes is in total.
Male friend: 20 minutes.
Woman: Regular math and time math are the same?

http://overheardinpdx.blogspot.com/2008/09/numbers.html

Overheard by: benja

Really tall hippie to really short girl in overalls: If that's what you think, then why can't I rape dead people?

El Campesino
Altoona, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Louise H

Teen girl #1: Hey, you know the chubby girl in chorus, right?
Teen girl #2: Elizabeth?
Teen girl #1: No, I’m talking about the whale.
(teen girl #1 makes elephant noises)
Teen girl #2: The one that laughs like a jackal?
Teen girl #1: Yeah, her!
Teen girl #2: Oh my god, I love her.
Teen girl #1: Me too! She’s great…

Tallahassee, Florida

Overheard by: Drama Eavesdropper

Drunken girl #1: Ah, that tubby boy kissed me.
Drunken girl #2: Doesn't matter, just remember the rule.
Drunken girl #1: “We don't share”?
Drunken girl #2: No, the other rule.
Drunken girl #1: “Your dress can be as short as you like, as long as you're wearing stockings”?
Drunken girl #2: No. The “if you don't remember it, it didn't happen” rule.
Drunken girl #1: Oh, I'm forgetting it now, then.

Sydney
Australia

Ditzy college girl, interrupting class: Do you live in Penn Yan?
Professor: No, I live on Bluff Point.
Ditzy college girl: Oh… Did you know that Sarassin's delivers?
Professor: No, I didn't, but do you mind if I get back to my lecture?

Keuka College
New York

Overheard by: Rachel Bz.