To Be Fair, His Vision Has Never Been Better!

Girl, looking at friend's aquarium: Why is there a carrot?! Is that what you've been feeding your snail?

Jersey City, New Jersey

Posted on July 4, 2015
Animals, Food, Girls, New Jersey, Questions

If Nothing Else, Straight Dudes Know How to Potty.

Angry guy: No! We're going to go to the fucking pisser, and then we're going to leave!
(both start towards the bathroom).
Friend: Wait, I don't have to piss, why am I coming with you?
Angry guy: Fuck you, man!
Friend: Seriously, why do you fucking need my help?

Medford, Oregon

Posted on July 3, 2015
Default, Friends, Guys, Offers and requests, Oregon, Pee, Questions, Weirdness

Last Time I Use Flammable Lube

Man on phone: So I took my dick out of her ass and started smoking a cigarette… What else was I supposed to do?

Subway
New York City, New York

Posted on July 3, 2015
Backdoor, Default, Guys, New York, On the phone, Penis, Questions, Smoking, Train, Weirdness

I'm Way Too Shallow to Date a Bald Guy.

Young woman on cell: Who is this? (pause) He is my baby, not my boyfriend! I told you that. (short pause) What's wrong with you?

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/343960110/that-probably-cant-be-summed-up-in-a-phone-call.html

Overheard by: yikes!

Posted on July 3, 2015
Family ties, On the phone, Overheard in Minneapolis, Questions, Relationships, Women

I Have Nude Pictures in Catalogs.

Man: She said that? She has nude pictures on the internet! How can you compare me to her?

Emergency Room
Westchester, New York

Posted on July 3, 2015
Compare and contrast, Guys, Internet, New York, Porn, Questions

He Hangs Around Outside Weight Watchers Meetings, Just Waiting

Girl #1, reading aloud from a magazine: Did you know there are only 13 blimps in the entire world?
Girl #2: What's a blimp?
Girl #1: I don't know, but Liam wants to be killed by one.

Birmingham, Alabama

Posted on July 3, 2015
Alabama, Girls, Murder, Questions, Science, Wishes, Words

That’s a Judgment — I Asked for Your Perception

Ironman contestant’s wife at mile 10 of the run leg: Honey, how are you feeling?
Ironman contestant: This was a stupid idea!

Vineman Ironman triathlon
Santa Rosa, California

Posted on July 3, 2015
California, Couples, Questions

Must… Resist… “Widener”… Joke…

Dignified middle-aged foreigner to three students: Excuse me, can you tell me — where is the pussy?
Grad student #1, while other two laugh: Pusey Library? You want Level D, then make a right and go down the hall.
Dignified middle-aged foreigner: Thank you. How late is the pussy open?
Grad student #1, losing his composure: Um, yeah. You know, man, that really depends on you. If you’re good, it’s open all night.

Widener Library, Harvard University
Cambridge, Massachusetts

Overheard by: A.J.S.

Posted on July 2, 2015
Colleges & Universities, Foreigners, Massachusetts, Questions, Students

No. I Said, “Pass the Bread.”

Drunk guy to drunk date: So wait, you want us to be in an anonymous relationship?

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/367412832/hiding-it-from-others-or-from-themselves.html

Overheard by: justarrivedtothebarsober

Posted on July 2, 2015
Drinking & drunks, Drunks, Overheard in Minneapolis, Questions, Relationships, Wishes

With Hitler and People Who Smell Tied for Third

Mom, doing mock interview of five-year-old for their journal: Okay, who is your least favorite person?
Five-year-old: Saddam Hussein, and the girl at school with the bent chin.

Maryland

Overheard by: Brittany

Posted on July 2, 2015
Default, Family ties, Kids, Maryland, Moms, Politics, Questions, Women

Questions