Waitress: That comes with a side salad.
Woman at booth: I'll have a salad with ranch.
(10 minutes later)
Woman at booth: What is this?
Waitress: Your salad?
Woman at booth, loudly sobbing: I ordered a Caesar salad!
Waitress, at the top of her lungs: We have other salads! We have other salads! They are in the fridge!
Restaurant
Boardman, Ohio
Six-year-old child to teacher, upon seeing her new haircut for the first time: What's wrong with your hair?
Teacher: What do you mean “what's wrong with my hair”?
Child (with eyes downcast): It just looks so beautiful.
Teacher: Well, thank you.
New Westminster
BC
Canadia
Female cashier: I'm tired, and really not sure why.
Man checking out: You want to know what causes tiredness?
Female cashier: What?
Man checking out: Either too much sex or not enough sex. By the looks of you, it must be too much sex.
Albertson's
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Overheard by: Not tired, so I must be getting enough sex
Girl #1: And she was like, “Hi, I'm Ashley” and stuck out her hand.
Girl #2: Did you smack her in the head? And tell her to stop talking like that?
Saint Joseph's University
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Guy coming out of bathroom: Dude, did you hear the angels singing?
Friend: What?
Guy: Man, that shit was magical.
Camp LeJeune, North Carolina
Older man in baggy clothes, waiting in line: You're a Kung Fu master.
College girl (amused): How'd you know?
Older nan: I sensed your Chi.
Burger King
Worcester, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Emily
Small child: Hey, dad, can we take the quarters out of the fountain?
Father: Not now. That's what we do after dark, when we put our ski masks on.
http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/465751887/bring-your-kid-to-work-day.html
Overheard by: rappeling from the ceiling for spare change.
Male thug #1: So, am I the dad?
Male thug #2: You and all? Who else have you fucked?
Male thug #1: I know she fucked Tommy as well.
Girl thuggete: He never fucked me, he only fingered me.
Hospital
Newcastle
England
Overheard by: Judge Mental
Guy: Did you watch that Palin video I sent you?
Girl: Not yet. I have to take my pants off to watch it.
Bloomfield, Connecticut
Guy exiting art class to female friend: I sleep through that whole class. It's all I can do.
Girl: What about when she asks attendance questions?
Guy: Well, I wake up for that part. It's just… God, I hate her! She's always talking about vaginas! And I'm just like, “Hello! I know what a vagina looks like!”
Auburn University
Auburn, Alabama
