More Of a Sugar Grandpa

Older man walking into a jewelery store, to another: I'm not a sugar-daddy, am I?

Fashion Valley Mall
San Diego, California

Posted on September 5, 2020
California, Default, Family ties, Guys, Malls, Names, Old folks, Pop culture, Questions, Words

All Teachers Want Is to Fit in

Student: Hey bruh, can I ansuh?!
Teacher: Yeah, sure… Wait, what did you call me?
Student: Bruh?
Teacher, grining: That made my day!

Nashville, Tennessee

Posted on September 3, 2020
Education, Names, Questions, Students, Teachers, Tennessee

Clearly, You Are No Donna Reed

Hipster guy: I cried so much when I watched it.
Hipster girl: It's a Wonderful Life made you cry? Ha!
Hipster guy: Shhhh! (looks around furtively)

Wellington
New Zealand

Posted on September 1, 2020
Default, Feelings, Girls, Guys, Hipsters, Movies, New Zealand, Questions

Guess Which One’s the “Naughty Librarian”

Library worker #1: Do I have to lick it?
Library worker #2: … What?
Library worker #1: The envelope. Do I have to lick it?
Library worker #2: You could tape it, I guess…
Library worker #1: Great, because after last night, I am totally out of saliva.

Main Library, Kent State University
Kent, Ohio

Posted on August 27, 2020
Colleges & Universities, Coworkers, Default, Gripes, Health & Hygiene, Ohio, Questions

…When They Could Be Doing Porn

Guy: I saw some midgets wrestling last night. I felt really bad. Why would they do that?

Point Park University
Pittsburgh, PA

Overheard by: ZB

Posted on August 23, 2020
Colleges & Universities, Default, Feelings, Guys, Pennsylvania, Questions, Violence

Let Me Guess– Rainbow Sherbert?

Drunken girl: I don't know, Luke, I'm just sick and tired of people who want to sit in their rooms and watch YouTube videos and eat sherbert.
Drunken guy: You don't like sherbert?
Drunken girl: No, I like it… but only with adventure.
Drunken guy: I wanted adventure. I feel kind of bad, though, that I didn't experiment enough.
Drunken girl: With what?
Drunken guy: With guys. I don't know, it just hasn't happened.
Drunken girl: Well, don't rush it. If you let it happen naturally, it will.
Drunken guy: But what if I don't like it? And say, “No, this isn't for me”?
Drunken girl: Let's go eat something.
Drunken guy: Sherbert?
Drunken girl: Yep.

Claremont, California

Posted on August 10, 2020
California, Drinking & drunks, Drunks, Feelings, Food, Girls, Gripes, Guys, Internet, Questions, Wishes

…The Fifth Being My Blackberry.

Student selling pink ribbon bracelets: Professor, would you like to buy some bracelets? They're for a good cause.
Professor: Sure, I'll take five. One for each appendage.

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Posted on August 7, 2020
Body parts, Clothes, Default, Pennsylvania, Questions, Shopping, Students, Teachers

Larry Is a Girl?

College student #1: Larry's rug is a trap!
College student #2: Her rug has a penis?

Portland, Oregon

Overheard by: Larissa

Posted on August 2, 2020
Hair, Oregon, Penis, Questions, Students

I Named My Cat “Velutinous.”

Teenage queer: How do you say 'fluffy' in science?
Random young boy: Fluffology?
Pretty woman: What?
Teenage queer: Velutinous?
Random young boy: Oh, that's sciencey.

Aurora
Ontario
Canadia

Posted on July 28, 2020
Canadia, Default, Girls, Guys, Queers, Questions, Science, Teens, Words

Translation: I’m Still a Little Stoned

Girl, frantically looking through fridge: Shit, I’m gonna be late for work… What the hell? Why is your rice in my freezer?
Boyfriend: Because then it will be happy and prosperous.

Washington, DC

Overheard by: Nic

Posted on July 24, 2020
Couples, Food, Girls, Gripes, Guys, Happiness, Questions, Washington, DC, Weirdness

Questions