Translucently pale white girl staring at cop car, to equally pale friend: My god, we've turned into black people!
Aurora, Colorado
Overheard by: Lee
Dude to friend: And then I look over, and there's this giant white cock! (holds hands two feet apart)
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Missed the good part
Reporter to bodyguard for racist, fascist political party holding a press conference: Can you tell us why we're not being allowed to enter?
Bodyguard: You've printed repeated and insidious lies about our party.
Reporter, after long pause: We're a tv station.
Manchester
England
Blonde: So this guy was hitting on me and he was like, “so, do you have a boyfriend?” and I was like, “ummm, yeah.” It was really creepy. I was like, “oh my god, I can not tell my boyfriend about this!” I mean, normally he wouldn't really care, but (looks around and lowers voice) this guy was black, so I think my boyfriend might flip. I mean, not that he's racist or anything.
Penn Tech
Williamsport, Pennsylvania
Black girl in car: God, I wish I was black so I could say things like that.
White girl in car: But wait…you are black.
Black girl in car: I can't believe I just said that!
Detroit, Michigan
Hot black chick: I don't know why you're so surprised… It's the same way I'd nail Lucy Liu and alt-world Neil Patrick Harris.
Nerdy friend: Alt-world Neil Patrick Harris?
Hot black chick: You know, where he's straight and really into black chicks.
Nerdy friend: Baffling.
New Haven, Connecticut
Girl #1: Let me suggest to you…
Girl #2 (interrupting): Why can't I take like drugs or sex? Something that interests me? Not like race… Not that it isn't that interesting… Not that I'm racist. I'm not a racist. (nervous laugh)
Long Island University, New York
Overheard by: Reena
Barista #1: Katie, can you make one more tall Americano?
Barista #2: Katie, can you make one black straight boy love me?
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Rook
Teen girl, looking confused: Wait, guys. (pause) Do black people see in different colors?
Bus
Seattle, Washington
Zookeeper: We have three types of penguins: Humboldt, Emperor, and Macaroni.
Small child watching zookeeper: Are there African American penguins?
Zookeeper, clearly flustered: Er…well…there are penguins from many countries and continents…
Milwaukee County Zoo
Wisconsin
Overheard by: Not a penguin racist
