Teacher: So, for the final sentence we should get some sort of metaphor for tax cuts helping the US recession.
Student #1: Hmm… Hey, you know like, the commercial where they put gum in the hole in the dam to stop the leak?.
Student #2: Or the finger!
Teacher: Oh, you mean in the dyke!
Student #1: Yeah, so… Tax cuts would be the finger in the hole of America’s dyke?
Teacher: Maybe we shouldn’t use a metaphor.
English Essentials Class
Waimea, Hawaii
Overheard by: boehmface
Cafeteria kid: Acting would be really boring if we were all giant slugs.
High School Cafeteria
Victoria, B.C.
Canadia
Overheard by: Sefie
Chick on cell: Hey! I had a miscarriage! Wanna hang out?
High School Classroom
Englewood, Colorado
Teacher: So when you have sex with someone who isn’t a virgin, your spirit is having sex with the spirits of everyone that person had sex with.
Religion Classroom
El Paso, Texas
Girl, after US history exam: How did you do on the essays?
Serious boy: Well, I drew hand turkeys on three pages of the answer booklet, and on the fourth I drew a picture of Samuel Glompers riding a tortoise while holding a marble cake.
High School Gymnasium
West Palm Beach, Florida
Teacher: Next, we're reading Much Ado about Nothing.
(class groans)
Teacher: Back then, “nothing” was slang for “vagina.”
Class: Ooooh.
Enloe High
Raleigh, North Carolina
Guy: … Because the pope touches himself. That’s my answer for the first question. That’s my answer to any question, really.
History class
Halifax, Nova Scotia
Canadia
Overheard by: Kaiti
Girl: My history teacher says women are more evolved than men.
Biology teacher: And what evidence does she base this on?
Guy: Oprah?
La Follette High
Madison, Wisconsin
Overheard by: Tangent
Huge gangsta boy: Maaaan, gimme a hug!
Preppy white friend: What?! No!
Huge gansta boy: What the fuck, man, just gimme a goddam hug!
High School
Nashville, Tennessee
16-year-old student: Ah, those were the days… people talked on the phone, and phones got phone calls…
High School
Binghamton, New York
