Hey, Loaf Quilting Is the Wave of the Future

Student, discussing a character’s problems: It’s like he’s in between a needle and some bread.
Teacher: … Do you mean a rock and a hard place?

English Class, Hazelwood West High School
Florissant, Missouri

Posted on July 12, 2015
Default, Education, Missouri, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Students, Stupidity, Teachers, Teens, Words

That’s What Bothers You about Living in Texas?

Astronomy teacher, about weather inhibiting lunar eclipse viewing: Well, NASA’s here, so Houston’s still cool.
Student #1: Yeah, but not cool enough to have an H&M…
Student #2: Yeah, I know!
Student #1: This really bothers me…

High school
Houston, Texas

Posted on July 10, 2015
Default, Gripes, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Science, Students, Teachers, Texas, Weather

As Explained in Thurber's The Wonderful O

Student to another: You're an asshole!
Science teacher: If you're going to say that, you should use the proper term, which is “anus.”

High School
Auckland
New Zealand

Posted on July 7, 2015
Advice, Ass, Etiquette, Insults, New Zealand, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Students, Teachers, Words

…Unless My Cousin's Available.

Nerdy-looking teenage boy: No way, going to the school dance with a partner seriously decreases my chances of getting laid.

Outside School
Washington, DC

Posted on July 7, 2015
Dancing, Education, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Sex, Teens, Washington, DC

I've Seen Enough Of Hell

Little girl: I don't want to go to heaven. I want to go to Texas.
Teacher: How about you go to heaven after you go to Texas?
Little girl: Nah. I just wanna go to Texas.

Vacation Bible School
New Orleans, Louisiana

Overheard by: Not from here

Posted on July 6, 2015
Default, Girls, Kids, Louisiana, Questions, Religion, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Teachers, US Geography, Wishes

And He Prefers to Make Love, Not War.

Dude to chick: William Howard Taft. That's what I call my penis. Because he is large and in charge. And he got stuck in a bathtub.

High School Law Class
New York

Overheard by: Adrienne

Posted on July 4, 2015
Compare and contrast, Default, Guys, Names, New York, Penis, School [Elem., Middle, & High]

How “What What (In the Butt)” Was Born

Teacher: Okay, I want you to write down twenty words relating to one of your hobbies, and then write a poem about it.
Girl: Can we write it on surprise butt sex?
Teacher: Errrmmm…if you want?

School Classroom
Australia

Overheard by: i wrote mine on sport….

Posted on June 29, 2015
Australia, Class, Default, Education, Girls, Questions, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Sex, Teachers, Words

What If You're Pregnant with a Large Tumor That Has Teeth and Hair?

Boy #1: So, I never got what the difference was between liberals and conservatives.
Boy #2: Well, conservatives like big business, and liberals like communism.
Boy #1: Oh. What if I want to be both?
Boy #2: You can't be both. It's an on/off thing. Like, you're either pregnant or you're not. Or like you're Christian or you're Islam.

High School
Minnesota