The Rehabilitation Began with Starship Troopers

Boy watching Indiana Jones: Why are the Nazis always the bad guys?
Thug: Who are they supposed to be?

Flowing Wells High School
Tucson, Arizona

Posted on July 26, 2015
Arizona, History, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Should have used a condom, Thugs

I Suppose the Holes in the Balls Are Also Off Limits?

Vice principal: Listen up, everyone! The rules of the school also apply at the bowling alley. If you smoke, drink, or do drugs, we will call the cops. If you break anything, you will have to pay. If you hump the ball machine for the sake of irony, you will be sent home. That means you, Aaron*!
Aaron*: Aw, man!

High School
Englewood, Colorado

Posted on July 23, 2015
Colorado, Default, Drinking & drunks, Drugs, Guys, Money, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Smoking, Students, Teachers, Threats

Thanks, European Colonialism!

Ditzy 13-year-old brunette: That's so cool! She's French and (whispers) black. I didn't know you could get those!

Woldingham Sacred Heart School
England

Overheard by: on the floor laughing

Posted on July 21, 2015
England, Race, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Stupidity, Tweens

Beverly Hills? You're Already There.

Buff Asian kid, squinting at label on microscope: Made in… Douche-land? What the fuck is douche-land?

Beverly Hills High School
Beverly Hills, California

Posted on July 19, 2015
Asians, California, Geography, Insults, Kids, Names, Questions, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Stupidity

Hey, Loaf Quilting Is the Wave of the Future

Student, discussing a character’s problems: It’s like he’s in between a needle and some bread.
Teacher: … Do you mean a rock and a hard place?

English Class, Hazelwood West High School
Florissant, Missouri

Posted on July 12, 2015
Default, Education, Missouri, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Students, Stupidity, Teachers, Teens, Words

That’s What Bothers You about Living in Texas?

Astronomy teacher, about weather inhibiting lunar eclipse viewing: Well, NASA’s here, so Houston’s still cool.
Student #1: Yeah, but not cool enough to have an H&M…
Student #2: Yeah, I know!
Student #1: This really bothers me…

High school
Houston, Texas

Posted on July 10, 2015
Default, Gripes, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Science, Students, Teachers, Texas, Weather

As Explained in Thurber's The Wonderful O

Student to another: You're an asshole!
Science teacher: If you're going to say that, you should use the proper term, which is “anus.”

High School
Auckland
New Zealand

Posted on July 7, 2015
Advice, Ass, Etiquette, Insults, New Zealand, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Students, Teachers, Words

…Unless My Cousin's Available.

Nerdy-looking teenage boy: No way, going to the school dance with a partner seriously decreases my chances of getting laid.

Outside School
Washington, DC

Posted on July 7, 2015
Dancing, Education, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Sex, Teens, Washington, DC

I've Seen Enough Of Hell

Little girl: I don't want to go to heaven. I want to go to Texas.
Teacher: How about you go to heaven after you go to Texas?
Little girl: Nah. I just wanna go to Texas.

Vacation Bible School
New Orleans, Louisiana

Overheard by: Not from here

Posted on July 6, 2015
Default, Girls, Kids, Louisiana, Questions, Religion, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Teachers, US Geography, Wishes

And He Prefers to Make Love, Not War.

Dude to chick: William Howard Taft. That's what I call my penis. Because he is large and in charge. And he got stuck in a bathtub.

High School Law Class
New York

Overheard by: Adrienne

Posted on July 4, 2015
Compare and contrast, Default, Guys, Names, New York, Penis, School [Elem., Middle, & High]

School [Elem., Middle, & High]