Guy: I'm not exactly awake yet. Hence the espresso. (holds up cup)
Girl: Oh, you should pour it all over yourself!
Guy: I think that would be contrary to waking up.
Girl: No, no. You'd absorb the caffeine into your skin, and you'd become Awake Man! And your arch-nemesis would be the Sandman, and… and… stuff.
Saint Peter's College
New Jersey
Man in expensive dark suit #1, with grave look on his face: It was toasted. I should never have got it toasted. Now it's all… Cold, and crunchy. (in tone of intense disgust) Toasted.
Man in expensive dark suit #2, looking even more serious than the first: Toasted… You should know better. Never get it toasted if you're saving it.
Toronto
Ontario
Canadia
Customer: Is this a cheese danish?
Hipster barista: It's lemon creme…kind of cheesy, I guess.
Customer: Is it good?
Hipster barista: Kind of… It's subjective.
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Teen girl on cell: Yes, well, there's excitement, plateau, orgasm… and I forget the last one.
99 Bus
Vancouver
Canadia
Cute girl #1: Do you ever wake up and just smell really bad for some reason?
Cute girl #2, without hesitation: Yeah!
Tufts University
Medford, Massachusetts
Overheard by: concerned about sanitation
Drunk sorostitute to group of friends: I'm getting boned in the butt! Who's boning me in the butt?
http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/378479688/know-your-alcohol-limit.html
Overheard by: pob
Loud girl to boy: Sorry, I didn't listen… You know, I just stared out of the window and for a second thought, “wait a minute, I know that person”–only to realize it was my reflection! Does that happen to you sometimes?
Hamburg
Germany
Overheard by: Staring at my own reflection in disbelief
Guy on crowded bus to friend: My undies are going to smell like Mexican food for a day and a half.
http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/363428193/thats-what-happens-when-you-crap-your-pants.html
Overheard by: I don't want to know
Girl #1: I pulled out my knuckle hair with my teeth just now.
Girl #2: What? What the hell?
Girl #1: I was bored. And I wanted to see what it would feel like.
(silence)
Girl #1: It felt like a pinch.
Columbia, Missouri
Girl #1: You look really high right now.
Girl #2, panicking: Do I smell high!?
Cumberland, Maine
Overheard by: Jade
