Woman on phone, sobbing and screaming: We have two beautiful children, and you want to stick your dick in someone else?
Disneyland
Anaheim, California
Woman on phone, sobbing and screaming: We have two beautiful children, and you want to stick your dick in someone else?
Disneyland
Anaheim, California
Teen #1 coming out of arrival gate to friend: So, when do we start coughing, sneezing and squealing to freak people out?
Teen #2: Dude, people with the swine flu don't squeal!
Teen #1: Then why the hell do they call it that?
Teen #2, jokingly: Because you have to fuck a pig to get it?
Teen #1, seriously: Well, that makes sense!
Logan Airport
Boston, Massachusetts
Loud eighth grader: Michael's such a douche, all he wants to do is get in my pants.
Even louder teacher: You're in eighth grade, you shouldn't be letting anybody in your pants!
Potomac, Maryland
Overheard by: Math is my new favorite subject…
Frat boy #1: Wait… so they didn't rape her?
Frat boy #2: No dude, turns out she had a penis. Now every time I see the girl I throw up a little in my mouth.
Laramie, Wyoming
Professor: I want you to write about the first time you did something. It can be anything. The first time you rode a bike. The first time you made a baby. (awkward pause) Wait!
Syracuse University
New York
Guy, walking angrily: She thinks that vampires evolved, so now they can be out in the sun like normal people. She also thinks it's degrading to have sex in any position other than missionary, when she's sober.
University of Delaware
Overheard by: what???
Blonde girl: Haha, imagine if my flange was a romantic love chasm… It's more of a cheeky fuckhole.
Loughborough
England
Overheard by: Gibson
Redhead: You seriously don’t know where Bruce Willis was born?
Brunette: No.
Redhead: I can tell you where half the actors I’m in love with were born.
Brunette: Honey, I can’t even tell you where half the men I’ve slept with were born.
Redhead: That’s true.
Brunette: Hell, I’m lucky if I remember their last names.
Fredericksburg, Virginia
Female student #1: But, like, he’s a really good guy, and he’s going to make some girl very happy one day.
Female student #2: Right… But that girl’s just not you.
Female student #1: Exactly! But we might hang out this weekend and, like, have sex or something.
Female student #2: Nothin’ wrong with that.
Cornell University
Ithaca, New York
