US History professor, angrily: I don't put up stuff on the overhead for me to masturbate to! I do that at home. Pay attention!
Georgia State University
Overheard by: Kat
US History professor, angrily: I don't put up stuff on the overhead for me to masturbate to! I do that at home. Pay attention!
Georgia State University
Overheard by: Kat
Philosophy professor: After all, is it okay to go pee out in the open in a public place like a park?
Girl: Wait, well… Like, when?
Boston College
Massachusetts
Spanish teacher: And you really have to be careful what you eat, because they have a lot of E. Coli problems.
Teenage girl: E. Coli? Like in those commercials with the cough drops?
Spanish teacher: What?
Teenage girl: Y'know, like the “Eeee-coliiii…”
Jersey Shore High School
Pennsylvania
Overheard by: shana yo mamma
3rd grade girl, about essay: I am writing about taking a vacation to heaven!
Teacher: Okay, but why don't you pick a place you can actually go on vacation? You can't really just visit heaven.
3rd grade boy: Yes you can! I went to heaven once to visit my aunt!
Auburn, Alabama
Professor: Say that you were to walk into class, and I was wearing…a red thong.
(students laugh) I'm not done. I also have sequins on my nipples–and my hair is in a red Mohawk. Half of you would turn around and walk out. The other half would think, “Eh, I can always drop the class.”
Santa Rosa Junior College
Santa Rosa, California
Flamboyant, very white math teacher: Alright, we have a test on Tuuuuseday, which is also, guess what, the blood drive! So don't donate blood before the test and please, please, do not donate blood during the test. You'll be writing with one arm and bleeding with the other, and then you'll get paler and paler… and keel over and die. Homie can't fly that. Homie can't.
Math Classroom
Hawaii
Nerdy philosophy professor: The word that comes to mind when I think about grading multiple-choice tests is 'bloodbath'.
Catholic University
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Ditto.
Professor: So, how was survey of western music?
Girl: It was terrible: someone would always find a way to bring up gender issues. I mean, I hate to break it to you, but eighteenth century tonal music doesn’t give a shit about your vagina.
Sarah Lawrence College
Bronxville, New York
Chemistry professor to student who recognized a sketch of the periodic table on whiteboard: You understand my art.
Student: I feel you, Mr K.
Chemistry professor: That is indeed true.
St Paul, Minnesota
Overheard by: MAC
