Professor: I was house-sitting for them. I almost strangled the cat.
Oberlin, Ohio
Overheard by: Secret Spy
Professor: And he's like, “Jesus, I wish I was pagan!”
Memorial University
Newfoundland
Canadia
Overheard by: Mel
Pre-school teacher #1: Which kids do you want in your group today?
Pre-school teacher #2: Oh, I don’t really care. Just not Monica*. I cant stand her.
Pre-school teacher #1: Yeah, I know. It’s like it’s her period every friggin’ day!
Pre-school teacher #2: Yeah, she’s such a little frigid bitch!
New York City, New York
Overheard by: first day on the job
Professor, hitting mic and causing feedback: Oops, sorry. [Whispering to self] It’s my android nature.
Human Sexuality class, UCSC
Santa Cruz, California
Teacher to girl: I like your shirt!
Girl: Oh, yeah, but it's from a show, so I'm not, like, just wearing a shirt… randomly or whatever.
Boulder, Colorado
Teacher: Who knows what the word “cell” means?
4th-grader: Oh, I do, I do! It's a tiny thing like a jelly doughnut! Except instead of jelly, there's blood!
Elementary School
Washington, DC
Professor: See, humans have what Aristotle calls “rational souls,” meaning we use intellect. Humans ask questions that other living things can't, like “what is god? What is the divine problem? Where are my Nunchuks? Where did I leave them?”
Philosophy Class, UC
Santa Barbara, California
Professor: So, basically god has to suppress the gag reflex when he looks at you; but it's okay because he loves you anyway.
University of Akron
Akron, Ohio
Overheard by: Rebecca
Professor: So, were you in this class before?
Man: Yeah — I dropped halfway through.
Professor: That’s right! You were the flake!
Man: I had open-heart surgery!
Las Positas College
Livermore, California
