Were We Ever?

Female student #1: You sure you want me to feed you this banana?
Female student #2: Get on with it, will you?
Female student #1: This thing's pretty big. I wouldn't want to choke you.
Female student #2: Don't worry about it. I've had much bigger.
Youngish professor: (raises eyebrows)
Female student #2: You think I'm kidding? I've had some pretty big ones. Think you can give me a bigger one?
Youngish professor (blushing): Um, possibly.
Female student #2: Well, I'd like to see that.
Female student #3: Um, are we still talking about bananas here?

Classroom
UCSC, California

Posted on February 25, 2017
BJs, California, Class, Euphemisms, Fruit, Girls, Students, Teachers

The Cherry Poppin' Daddies Are on Tour Again

Teacher, on first day of school: So, did anything particularly exciting happen during your vacation?
Loud teenage girl at back of room: I lost my virginity… three times!

Edmonton
Alberta
Canadia

Posted on February 23, 2017
Canadia, Education, Questions, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Sex, Students, Teachers, Teens, Virginity

Time Gives White People the Illusion They Understand Black People

Professor talking about the Canterbury tales: So the friar has this gold pin he wears, he wears it under his neck to keep his hood closed . . . It's bling!
(class laughs)
Professor: I never want to hear anyone say I'm not up on the times. They had this article in Time magazine, it was an interview with a rapper, the guy's name was “fifty cents.”
(class laughs)
Professor: But I'm cool, and I know that it's not “fifty cents,” it's “fiddy.”

Carleton University
Ottawa
Canadia

Posted on February 17, 2017
Books, Canadia, Class, Clothes, Default, Teachers, Words

The Leprechaun on My Shoulder Feeds Me Answers

Teacher: So, what do you think about this?
Student: I don’t think.

Reddam House
Sydney
Australia

Overheard by: anny

Posted on February 6, 2017
Australia, Students, Stupidity, Teachers

Which Is Why Men Wear Pink Shirts

Professor: Ever wonder why pink is considered a girl color?
Student: Because vaginas are pink.

UC
Santa Cruz, California

Overheard by: Kelly

Posted on December 28, 2016
California, Class, Default, Education, Gender issues, Questions, Students, Teachers, Vagina

She Keeps a Cyanide One in Her Desk for Emergencies

Student: What are you eating?
Teacher: My bracelet… it’s made of anti-depressants.

Tucson, Arizona

Posted on December 19, 2016
Arizona, Clothes, Drugs, Food, Mental illnesses, Students, Teachers, Weirdness

Or I'll Be Red with Embarassment.

Professor: The emotional impact of one story is greater than the story of many people.
Student: Isn't that what Stalin said?
Professor: Um. Sort of the same sentiment. But I really hope that is my last parallel to Stalin.

Seattle, Washington

Posted on December 15, 2016
Compare and contrast, Education, Feelings, Questions, Students, Teachers, Washington

Margaret Manheim Could Never Catch a Break

Professor: All right. I'm going to start giving the papers back in reverse alphabetical order from last time.
Whispering girl: Damn it! I hate my life.

Ann Arbor, Michigan

Posted on December 3, 2016
Class, Default, Education, Feelings, Girls, Michigan, Students, Teachers, Weirdness

If Evolution Is Wrong, I Don't Want to Be Right!

Human evolution professor, showing a slide of a monkey: Just look at those testicles! They're huge and pink…just…they're all in your face!

Anthropology Classroom, Kent State University
Ohio

Overheard by: Laureen

Posted on October 14, 2016
Animals, Balls, Class, Colleges & Universities, Default, Education, Ohio, Teachers, Weirdness

Teachers