After This, We Can All Go Have Tea

Instructor: Okay, ladies, on your backs and put the balls between your legs!

Athletic Club
Charlottesville, Virginia

Overheard by: you don't hear that every day

Posted on October 26, 2017
Default, Education, Teachers, Virginia, Words

I Suppose I Could Have One of My Concubines Answer Them, Though

Student: Professor, will you be able to answer e-mails while you are away, since our final is in a week?
Uncomfortable Japanese professor with strange British/Japanese accent: No, I will not be able to answer students’ e-mails because most of the time I come home I am drunk.
Students: [Incredulous silence. Laughter.]

Philosophy class
McGill University
Canadia

Overheard by: student who hated this prof until this comment…

Posted on October 15, 2017
Asians, Canadia, Class, Default, Drinking & drunks, Education, Offers and requests, Questions, Students, Teachers

But I Couldn't, So I Placed Blame on the Terrorists

Biochemistry lecturer, talking about his cholesterol issues: So I was trying to figure out how I could blame this on my wife.

University of Melbourne
Australia

Overheard by: pink sunnies

Posted on October 1, 2017
Australia, Colleges & Universities, Default, Lies, Relationships, Teachers

Like an Open Spirit and Three Hits of Acid

Teacher: What you get from Beatlerama depends on what you bring to it.

Science class
Richmond, Virginia

Overheard by: mollydear

Posted on September 15, 2017
Education, Names, Offers and requests, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Science, Teachers, Virginia, Words

Thank God I Live in Connecticut, Where I Avoid That Sort Of Thing.

Student #1: He went flying over the Rockies and they haven't found his plane.
Professor: Oh, good, good! I hated that guy.
Student #2: Who was he?
Professor: Some rich fucker.

Hartford, Connecticut

Overheard by: Claire

Posted on September 4, 2017
Connecticut, Gripes, Insults, Questions, Students, Teachers

…Through Binoculars.

Music History prof taking roll: Jane Smith?
Jane: Here.
Prof: Oh, there you are. I’m just used to seeing you from behind.

Hartford, Connecticut

Posted on August 30, 2017
Ass, Compare and contrast, Connecticut, Creepsters, Default, Education, Etiquette, Girls, Names, Students, Teachers

Pythagoras Is a Jealous God, People

Math teacher: If you fuck with numbers, you're fucking with god! And people get killed for that shit!

University of Miami, Florida

Overheard by: Tormented Math Student

Posted on August 2, 2017
Colleges & Universities, Default, Education, Florida, God, Sex, Teachers, Violence

Sex with Livestock Is a Close Second.

Professor: Apparently nothin' says lovin' in Louisiana like carving your name into the Bonnie and Clyde monument.

University of Wisconsin, Milwaukee

Overheard by: darkhorse

Posted on July 27, 2017
Colleges & Universities, Default, Feelings, Names, Teachers, US Geography, Wisconsin

What’s This on My Syllabus?

Distinguished professor: I think I do sex next Tuesday, is that right?

Evolutionary Ecology class, University of California
Santa Cruz, California

Posted on July 26, 2017
California, Class, Jobs & Careers, Teachers

And, More Importantly, What Is Up with the Name “Dallin”?

Drama teacher to students: Okay, I want you all to close your eyes and imagine the most painful thing you can think of. Okay?
(a few moments pass)
Drama teacher: Okay, who wants to share? Dallin, how about you?
Dallin: Umm… Well, I imagined giving birth to a cactus baby.
Girl next to him: What is with you and cactus babies?

High School
Utah

Overheard by: Weskimo

Posted on July 5, 2017
Birthing, Feelings, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Teachers, Utah, Weirdness

Teachers