Lecturer, about exam questions: I mislead you on purpose. I have to get some sense of perverse pleasure out of designing these questions. I sit at home going “aahahahahahaa!” (rubs hands gleefully)
Irish Culture Lecture
University of Zurich
Switzerland
Teacher: So when you have sex with someone who isn’t a virgin, your spirit is having sex with the spirits of everyone that person had sex with.
Religion Classroom
El Paso, Texas
Biology professor, on earthworm digestive systems: And I’m including this part because I enjoy saying words like “anus”.
South Dakota State University
South Dakota
Professor: And so in REM sleep you'll get penile erection and vaginal lubrication. You know, the fun stuff. (class laughs) Well, your eyes aren't the only things that are moving!
York University
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: studious student
Professor: You’d have to be quite clever to make people care about Polish sausages.
Texas Woman’s University
Denton, Texas
Professor: I went to college in Montreal, and one day I woke up on, like, the 16th floor of some high rise building with this beautiful Arabian girl next to me, and I didn’t know where I was or what was happening. It was great.
Student: And then you woke up again from your dream.
Professor: Well, then she ruined the next six months of my life. I don’t know why I told you this story.
Hartford, Connecticut
Teacher: Next, we're reading Much Ado about Nothing.
(class groans)
Teacher: Back then, “nothing” was slang for “vagina.”
Class: Ooooh.
Enloe High
Raleigh, North Carolina
80-something religious studies professor: Do you all know what circumcision is? (class stares at him) Okay. Well, if you don't, don't ask here. Wait for an appropriate time and ask a friend outside of class.
Canisius College
Buffalo, New York
