Teacher to Chinese boy who twisted his pen: How in the bloody hell did you do that?
Students: [Laugh and all try twisting.]Chinese girl: I can’t do it.
Teacher: But you’re Asian.
Social Studies class, High school
Connecticut
Teacher to Chinese boy who twisted his pen: How in the bloody hell did you do that?
Students: [Laugh and all try twisting.]Chinese girl: I can’t do it.
Teacher: But you’re Asian.
Social Studies class, High school
Connecticut
Professor to puzzled student: You said one thing I didn’t understand, so I something you didn’t understand right back… God, I’m cruel.
Robinson Hall, University of Delaware
Newark, Delaware
Lab TA: This is bromium chloride. If you have guys in your group, have them work with it. If not, girls, I hope you’re not pregnant. It tends to cause birth defects and cancer.
Chick #1 in back of room, whispering: You guys, I can’t touch that stuff!
Chick #2: Why not? Are you pregnant?
Chick #1: You see, that’s the thing — I don’t know…
Oklahoma State University
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Overheard by: She’s majoring in drunken sorority girl
Crazy, overweight French prof: Ma boîte est dans un endroit très triste.
Student: Your box is in a sad place?
Crazy, overweight french prof: Oui, but which box?
Student: (giggles)
Crazy, overweight French prof: Box is another word for office!
Simon Fraser University
Canadia
Overheard by: so that's what they're calling it these days
Prof: Life is a game of chance. There may not be a tomorrow. Or, it may not be the tomorrow you expect. You might go home tonight and die. Or you might go home tonight and have a baby!
Carelton University
Ottawa
Canadia
Overheard by: if i gave birth tonight, my biggest concern would be how my pregnancy went undetected for nine months.
Student: Did you know that you can live off of student loans?
Professor: No, you can't.
Student: Yeah. All you do is just keep going back to school, and they'll pay for everything.
Professor: But eventually you'll have to pay them back.
Student: Not if you die.
Nicholls State University
Louisiana
Math professor #1: Don't derive like my brother.
Math professor #2: No, don't derive like my brother!
Northampton, Massachusetts
Overheard by: TARDIS Dyke
Teacher: That would make such a great scene in a movie: A volcano smoking, then it erupts, and thousands of ninjas spout out of it and run forth and populate the earth!
Student: This is the best class ever!
Memphis, Tennessee
Dumb freshman girl: Why does being castrated make your voice high?
Friar professor: Talk to someone after class.
Seattle University
Washington
Overheard by: facepalm
