Didn't You Read the Welcome Sign at the Airport?

Tourist: Wait, so you can't smoke cigarettes, but you can smoke pot?
Local guy: Welcome to California!

Golden Gate Park
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: Arielle

Posted on December 3, 2010
Drugs, Guys, Questions, San Francisco, Smoking, Tourists

When You Stick a Key Into It, All It Does Is Sputter.

60-something tourist holding map, looking bewildered: So why is it called lemon chicken anyway?

Canberra
Australia

Posted on October 5, 2010
Australia, Food, Names, Questions, Tourists

Another Conflict in Which the Swiss Happily Remain Neutral

Overweight redhead Southern lady #1, looking through Switzerland t-shirts: Y'all, Ginger… I think this size is a li'l too small…
Overweight redhead Southern lady #2: Naw, I think that looks 'bout right.
Random lady: I thought we went on vacation to get away from the Southerners, not go find some more…

Lucerne
Switzerland

Overheard by: marisawin

Posted on August 30, 2010
Clothes, Clothing, Comebacks, Diet & weight, Europe, Fat people, Strangers, Tourists

Is That Slang for “Gays,” You Bigot?

Large female tourist in plaid bermuda shorts: You know what's wrong with California? Too many windows!

Quincy Market
Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Isotope Feeney

Posted on May 23, 2010
Fat people, Massachusetts, Questions, Stupidity, Tourists

Then They Both Let Out Super-Sighs.

Fat tourist mom: Nah… I don't wanna eat there.
Fat tourist dad, wistfully: Well, it's not McDonald's.

Outside Marcy's Diner
Portland, Maine

Overheard by: townie knows best

Posted on December 10, 2009
Compare and contrast, Dads, Fat people, Food, Maine, Moms, Restaurants, Tourists, Wishes

That's What You Said at the Pyramids Of Giza

Tourist: It's like Times Square with less fat people!

Piccadilly Circus
London
England

Overheard by: Stuart

Posted on November 23, 2009
Compare and contrast, Diet & weight, England, Tourists

It's the Germany Of the United States.

Guy in “I heart NJ” shirt: Could you take our picture?
German tourist: Sure.
Guy in “I heart NJ” shirt: Thanks a lot, man.
German tourist: You luv New Jer-see?
Guy in “I heart NJ” shirt: Hell yeah!
German tourist: You za own-lee vun!

London
England

Overheard by: Joyful One

Posted on October 18, 2009
England, Feelings, Foreigners, Offers and requests, Questions, Tourists, Weirdness

Propelled by Airbrush, Like a Playboy Bunny

American tourist to girlfriend: No, it's a special species of blue rabbit that can survive in space.
Girlfriend: Wow!

Kaaba Cafe
Prague
Czech Republic

Posted on August 26, 2009
Animals, Bars & Clubs, Couples, Europe, Science, Stupidity, Tourists

Ten Bucks Says They're American

Teenage tourist girl to friend: Wanna play connect the dots with my track marks?
Friend: (laughs nervously)
Teenage tourist girl: Also, if you do that stupid thing with your water glass again, I'm gonna strangle you, and throw you in a pit and put a dead dog on top of your grave. Pass me that cheese?

Pizzeria
Rome
Italy

Posted on August 25, 2009
Animals, Death & dying, Food, Friends, Italy, Offers and requests, Restaurants, Teens, Threats, Tourists, Weirdness

Since the Rain Machine Is Broken

Host to dumb tourist: Would you like to sit inside or in the garden?
Dumb tourist: What's the weather like in the garden?
Host: I'm going to guess that it's the same as outside the front door you just walked through.

Restaurant
Charleston, South Carolina

Overheard by: Crash

Posted on August 6, 2009
Employees, Idiots, Questions, Restaurants, Science, South Carolina, Stupidity, Tourists, Weather

Tourists