Toys

Little girl: Mom, can I buy that doll house?
Mom: No, you don't have enough money.
Daughter: Can't I just use my college money?
Mom: No.
Daughter: But I don't want to go to college, I want the doll house! I don't want to go to college!

Toy Store
Canadia

Hot Asian chick #1: The passion party was so fun — you guys should’ve gone.
Hot Asian chick #2: Oh my god! I wish I would’ve known about it. Did they have the Jack Rabbit?
Hot Asian chick #3: Yeah — and, like, oils and stuff?
Hot Asian chick #2: Forget that! Did they have anal beads?! [Sighs and glances over at her boyfriend] Our sex life has really gotten boring…

Dallas, Texas

Overheard by: looking for the cameras

Janeane Garofalo incarnate, walking past adult bookstore: What more does a feminist need than dildos and books?

Denver, Colorado

Overheard by: A. N. Cargo

Girl #1: You're too horny for your own good. Why don't you just get a dildo?
Girl #2: Why would I want a dildo when I can just get the real thing whenever I want?

Emory University
Atlanta, Georgia

Overheard by: Hank

Mellow teen: I got slapped in the tit with a dildo last night.

New Paltz, New York

[Two 20-something guys are staring at Colleen Moore’s ornate fairy castle dollhouse.]Guy #1: Oh, man.
Guy #2: No man on earth could have ever kept this woman happy.

Museum of Science and Industry
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Joan

Male lecturer to friend: Well: in my defense, it wasn't my dildo.

Lancaster University
England

Little girl: The show will now begin. Please sit down and turn off your vibrators!

Barnes and Noble
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Pretty sure she’s been to the theater before

Overexcited boy in cafe: Mum, mum, mum! Can I play with my new toy? Can I? Can I? Can I?
Disinterested mum: Sure.
Overexcited boy, holding toy: Look! I'm holding my winkle. And I'm peeing. I'm peeing all over the drinks. There's wee everywhere!
Disinterested mum: No, there isn't.

Kingston-Upon-Thames
England

Overheard by: Ben

20-something guy to friends: Yeah, I had a Teddy Ruxpin and I loved it but it made me feel sorta weird having it in my room and stuff, so I sold it on eBay. I regretted it instantly.

Atlanta, Georgia