Overweight mom, walking away from grave, to young sons: If you don't start behaving, you are going to be buried here.
Arlington National Cemetery
Arlington, Virginia
Overweight mom, walking away from grave, to young sons: If you don't start behaving, you are going to be buried here.
Arlington National Cemetery
Arlington, Virginia
Student in English class: Does anyone know the difference between romantic poems with a capital R and lowercase r?
Reston, Virginia
Little girl, about passerby wearing turban: Look, Mommy — it’s Aladdin.
Target
Virginia
Overheard by: Makes me want to have kids!
Teacher (about poetry assignment): Some of you did a good job and wrote some wonderful things. Some of you just did the assignment. Some of you haven’t even turned it in. Those people are going to hell.
TJHSST
Alexandria, Virginia
Blonde: Oh, I’ve heard of that restaurant! Where is it at?
Boyfriend: No, ‘where is it’?
Blonde: No, that’s what I’m asking you! Where’s it at?
Boyfriend, shaking head and sighing: It’s by the mall. This is ridiculous.
Virginia Beach, Virginia
Overheard by: Cringing English major
Announcement: There's a gray car parked outside, four feet into the street.
Older woman: It's mine. I don't park cars; I just sort of abandon them.
Portsmouth, Virginia
Whispering mom: Don’t play with your skirt like that. You know what you forgot this morning.
Three-year-old, loudly: Panties!
Dunkin’ Donuts
Virginia
Overheard by: callumny
Macy's sales clerk: Now this cologne is $19.99 for the large bottle and comes with the free teddy bear.
Large woman spilling out of leopard-print tube top, sniffing: This is nice… It's real classy smelling.
Richmond, Virginia
Overheard by: I don't discriminate; I hate everybody.
Guy on cell at register: I know! I know! So listen — when you first meet him, go up to him, bow, whip your own chopsticks, and tell him you would like to procreate with him.
Dick’s Sporting Goods
Fairfax, Virginia
Overheard by: Cashier who needed the laugh
Girl #1: Well, today wasn't a total loss, I did find my outfit for tomorrow.
Girl #2: True. By the way, what's tomorrow?
Girl #1: Uh, Thursday. You mean like the date?
Girl #2: No, I mean: what's the occasion for the outfit?
Girl #1: Oh, right! Thursday.
Dulles Town Center
Loudoun County, Virginia
