Alan Breaks Into a Chorus of “Gonna Floss Those Reds Right Out of My Lair”

Important looking man on cell: So, apparently, Georgia is being occupied by Russia. What this means to us is… Oooh! Toothbrushes!

Washington, DC

Overheard by: ak

Posted on October 24, 2022
Default, Geography, Guys, Health & Hygiene, On the phone, Politics, Washington, DC, Weirdness

He Feels Guilty When He Calls Things Hot Trannies Messes

Fashionista student: So is he like, Christian gay from project runway?
Oblivious teacher: No, he's like Jewish gay.

American University
Washington, DC

Overheard by: I'm Jewish

Posted on September 1, 2022
Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Religion, Sexuality, Students, Teachers, Washington, DC

And You Thought Picking Up Girls at Funerals Was Bad

Girlfriend on packed, stopped train: I'm bored. Tell me a story.
Boyfriend: I remember the first time I saw you…you were crying…sitting outside the abortion clinic. I gave you my hankie.

Yellow Train
Washington, DC

Overheard by: entertained next to them

Posted on July 15, 2022
Abortion, Couples, Default, Feelings, Girls, Guys, Memory lane, Offers and requests, Relationships, Train, Washington, DC, Weirdness

I’m Basically a Communal Stress Ball

Yuppie girl on cell: … And then he grabbed my ass right in front of her! If I was her, I would have thrown a fit… But she knows she’ll never be at my level.

Georgetown
Washington, DC

Posted on June 18, 2022
Insults, Washington, DC, Yuppies

New Yorkers: We Thought It Was Clean

Girl #1: I wonder if vegans get on the metro and, like, can't sit down because the seats are leather.
Guy: No, this is pleather.
Girl #2: If it were leather it would smell like it.
Guy: No, that's only clean leather.

Washington, DC

Overheard by: Vegan sitting on the Metro

Posted on June 2, 2022
Diet & weight, Girls, Guys, Public transportation, Sensory experiences, Washington, DC

What’s the Word for Ironic Irony?

Young hipster dude to older hipster dude: Man, fuck Yanni. That guy sucks. [Mocks his singing] ‘The best part of waking up…’ Wait, no, that’s Michael Bolton. Wait, no, that’s Folgers!

Blue line Metro
Washington, DC

Overheard by: Laughing at that guy

Posted on May 10, 2022
Hipsters, Music, Washington, DC

I Hear the Russian Judge Gives Extra Points for That

Flaming gay over speakerphone: Just like that boy from Miami last night, I tried to suck his dick like I was trying to win an Olympic gold medal. And that's the only ass I would lick even if it wasn't clean.

Washington, DC

Posted on April 20, 2022
Ass, Compare and contrast, Default, Geography, Guys, Health & Hygiene, Penis, Queers, Washington, DC

Also, “Boner”

Nerdy philosophy professor: The word that comes to mind when I think about grading multiple-choice tests is 'bloodbath'.

Catholic University
Washington, DC

Overheard by: Ditto.

Posted on January 25, 2022
Bathing, Body parts, Colleges & Universities, Default, Dorks, Geeks & Nerds, Education, Teachers, Washington, DC, Words

Eliot Spitzer’s next big target

Thugette: Yo, I think Diet Coke got some nicotine in it, ’cause I can’t stop drinking it!
Thug: Yeah, for real. They still must be puttin’ some coke in that jank.
Passerby: It’s called caffeine.

9th & M Streets
Washington, DC

Overheard by: Erika

Posted on July 6, 2021
Drugs, Thugs, Washington, DC

Straight Men: Dammit, You Guys Ruin Everything!

Gay sports fan to table of gay sports fans, while watching Packers game: So, are you a packer or a packee?

Washington, DC

Posted on May 10, 2021
Compare and contrast, Queers, Questions, Sexuality, Washington, DC, Words