Supportive male friend: It's okay! Just remember, you fucked her sister with a baseball bat.
Cute girl: I know, I know…
Ann Arbor, Michigan
Supportive male friend: It's okay! Just remember, you fucked her sister with a baseball bat.
Cute girl: I know, I know…
Ann Arbor, Michigan
Woman to another: And I said to him, “well, if I had oily hands, I wouldn't come into your office and wipe them on your underpants!”
Portsmouth
England
Girl on cell: I have midterms! I don't have time to go to the fat lady with the lollipop! (pause) Buh-bye.
Roosevelt University
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: morgz
Chick: I chased him into the boys bathroom, and now I'm all wet!
Millsaps College
Jackson, Mississippi
Girl #1, listening to strange music: What is this? It sounds like hypnotizing propaganda music.
Girl #2: It sounds like underwater Christmas music.
Illinois
Overheard by: Claire
Barmaid: I was having sex with a girl, and in the heat of the moment she called me Frank. Which is horrifying, as that's her dad's name.
Pub
Surrey
England
Woman, excitedly: I hope he thinks I'm a freak!
Michigan
Overheard by: Meister E
Little boy: Mommmmmm, I want a pet mouse.
Mother: No.
Little boy: Please? It can live in my room!
Mother: No! You know what will happen. I'll spend a hundred dollars on cages and food and toys, and Terry will just eat the bloody thing.
Pet shop worker to little boy: Is Terry your cat?
Little boy: No, my brother.
Pet Shop
Greensborough
Australia
Overheard by: Suitably Impressed
Young man to friends: So apparently people get all offended if you walk into the farmers market with a bottle of KY jelly.
Iowa City, Iowa
Woman on PA system: Attention. Please disregard the call for wheelchair assistance at gate A-5. Repeat: there is no wheelchair needed at gate A-5. It's a miracle!
Airport
Rochester, New York
Overheard by: Patty Astrolabe
