Women

Old religious woman to large crowd of highly amused students: Having pre-marital sex is like playing Russian roulette with your genitals!

Alumni Hill
University of Arizona

Overheard by: The girl who likes to live on the dangerous side

Woman: I orgasmed here once.
Friend, cheerfully: Oh, I've done that several times!

James Brown Arena
Augusta, Georgia

Overheard by: Annissa

Man: Excuse me, but your skirt is caught on your bag and it's pulling your skirt all the way up.
Young woman (annoyed): Excuse me! Can't you see I'm on the fucking phone?!
Man: Fine then–walk around with your ass hanging out–see if I care.
Young woman (into her phone): Oh my god! Some guy just totally came up and told me that my ass is showing! (walks off with skirt still showing)

Airport
Sydney
Australia

Middle-aged woman with dog: Oh, she peed on my foot. That's your pee. That's your love juice. Did you put your love juice on me? You gave me your love juice.
Woman's friend: It's on your shirt now.
Middle-aged woman: Oh, she pissed on my shirt? It's okay, it's just love juice. Come here, stinks. Come here, stinky. It's just pee. Come, gimme kisses, stink-stink.
Woman's friend: Here, maybe you should let me hold her.
Middle-aged woman, hissing: Get away from my stinky! She gave me her love juice, not you.

Starbucks
San Diego, California

Overheard by: Pips

30-something woman: Should we get this one?
Mom: It comes with two 8x10s.
30-something woman, to brother across room: Do you want an 8×10?
Brother: Don't care.
30-something woman: Maybe we should get this one with the 5x7s. (to brother) Do you want a 5×7?
Brother: It's incredible how much I don't care.

Photo Studio
Germantown, Maryland

Overheard by: Daniel

Angry mother: Seriously, Landon, I told you, do not touch anyone else's balls!

Mini Golf
Burnham, Maine

Black man, approaching black woman wrapped in garments with only her eyes visible: Salam Aleikum.
Woman: I'm not Muslim, muthafucka, I'm cold!

Harrisburg, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Michael

Excited lady, telling story to group of people: And then he turned the tap on right into my purse!

Seattle, Washington

Drunk woman: … And that’s how my parents hooked up! My dad was a drunk dialer!

Outside George’s
Waco, Texas

Obese middle-aged tourist to husband: I called him and told him we're at passenger pick-up 2. He called and asked where we'd be, and I said passenger pick-up 2, that's where he can find us. It's just easier to find us when he gets here. Passenger pick-up 2. And it's cold. That's why I brought this vest. I brought this vest in case it got cold, and it got cold. I'm going to button it up. Did you hear me? I'm going to button it up. There, it's buttoned. (husband ignores her)

Newark Airport, New Jersey

Overheard by: EthanK