Cashier #1: He's definitely overcompensating for something.
Cashier #2: I do not know what that word means.
Cashier #3: “Compensate?” You don't know what that means?
Cashier #2: “Compensate?” Penetrate–I know what *that* is.
Filene's Basement
Washington, DC
Blonde in jacket: I know this guy that totally disemboweled a bomb using only a toothpick.
Demeaning guy friend: “Disemboweled”?
Blonde in jacket: With nothing but a toothpick! Isn't that incredible?
Denny's
St. Louis, Missouri
Overheard by: Gabe
Girl: So, it’s like this — a slut is a girl who says, ‘Look at my boobies,’ but a whore is a girl who says, ‘Touch my boobies.’
Friends: [Silence.]
Eleanor Roosevelt High School
Corona, California
Overheard by: trying to watch a performance
Female law student #1: You don't have to know that. You can just 69 it.
Female law student #2: Wait… What?
Female law student #1: You know, 69 it. Get rid of it.
Female law student #2: No honey, it's “86” it. That thing you said is something dirty.
Mississippi College School of Law
Girl to friend: You know what I was thinking? We always say girls who get pregnant are white trash. But I really thought about this, and we have sex. We could get pregnant. You're not white trash!
College
New Jersey
Girl sitting in front of lecture hall to professor, very matter-of-factly: People don't really use adverbs anymore.
Evans Hall, UC Berkeley
Berkeley, California
Overheard by: the only one left
Little boy running inside out of a rainstorm: I am a sword of wetness!
First United Methodist Church
Pittsburg, Kansas
