Little girl: Mom, those boots make you look like a hooker!
Mother: This conversation is over.
Little girl: Okay… What’s a hooker?
Macy’s, Marley Station Mall
Marley, Maryland
Overheard by: jd
Little girl: Mom, those boots make you look like a hooker!
Mother: This conversation is over.
Little girl: Okay… What’s a hooker?
Macy’s, Marley Station Mall
Marley, Maryland
Overheard by: jd
Guy: So, it's like, there's ski equipment strewn everywhere on the ground. I wrote a story about it, with descriptions and metaphors and shit.
Boone, North Carolina
Big-chested teenage girl: I would hate to date a magician. It would be like, “breasto change-o, I just took your boobs.”
Long Branch, New Jersey
White geek girl: I swear, if it's the goddamn Macarena, I'm gonna cap a bitch!
Highlands Ranch, Colorado
Student, about assignment she's written: It's supposed to be (emphasizes with hands) that, that, then that, then that! But it's all blah blah blah blah! You know?
Friend: Is you introduction all dot, dot, dot at least?
Student: Yeah.
University of South Australia
Adelaide
Australia
Overheard by: fellow stressed out uni student
Drunk brunette: I'm so ready! I wanna fuck! I mean, you and Ryan* fuck! All the time! I know you do!
Sober blonde: Please don't ever say that again.
Drunk brunette: Fine, prude! You and Ryan* make loooove all the time, right?!
Sober blonde: Could you please just say “have sex”? This is so weird.
Kansas City, Missouri
Overheard by: i*agree
Queer dad at the back of the line: Ohmigod! There's Rebeca, from cheerleading.
Woman friend: Oh yeah! I hate her, she's so perky.
Queer dad: And irresponsible, she always leaves her kids on the car when she goes anywhere.
Woman: Oh, really?
Queer dad: I mean, who leaves a top of the line Escalade with a smoking hot nine-year-old idling in the parking lot? Especially in this neighborhood!
Woman dad: That is so wrong!
Queer dad: I know!
Woman: No, that you said “smoking” hot nine-year-old.
Queer dad: Oh…
Dunkin Donuts
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Billy Splatts!
Older woman: Susie's daughter adopted two little Guatemalites… Guatemalians?
Younger woman: Guatemalans.
Older woman: Yeah, you know, from Guatemalia.
Younger woman: Uhhhh…
Sacramento, California
Cashier #1: He's definitely overcompensating for something.
Cashier #2: I do not know what that word means.
Cashier #3: “Compensate?” You don't know what that means?
Cashier #2: “Compensate?” Penetrate–I know what *that* is.
Filene's Basement
Washington, DC
Blonde in jacket: I know this guy that totally disemboweled a bomb using only a toothpick.
Demeaning guy friend: “Disemboweled”?
Blonde in jacket: With nothing but a toothpick! Isn't that incredible?
Denny's
St. Louis, Missouri
Overheard by: Gabe
