Girl #1: I mean, her nickname in high school was “the scraper.”
Girl #2: Is that a bad abortion joke?
Dallas, Texas
Overheard by: Confused
Jewish student, about another: Every time we talk about the holocaust she, like, throws her Jew out and spins a dreidel with it or whatever.
SUNY
Geneseo, New York
Overheard by: Jeni
Guy #1: What? Barely legal girls are hot.
Guy #2: Barely lethal?
Guy #1: What?
Guy #2: What?
Univeristy of Florida
Gainesville, Florida
20-something girl looking at picture: Isn't he so hot with his nunchucks?”
20-something guy friend: Those are called “muttonchops.”
Bar
Connecticut
Teenage thug to passing woman: Hey yo baby! I ain’t gonna lie, I got a big dick!
Hollywood and Highland
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Has that ever worked?
Professor talking about the Canterbury tales: So the friar has this gold pin he wears, he wears it under his neck to keep his hood closed . . . It's bling!
(class laughs)
Professor: I never want to hear anyone say I'm not up on the times. They had this article in Time magazine, it was an interview with a rapper, the guy's name was “fifty cents.”
(class laughs)
Professor: But I'm cool, and I know that it's not “fifty cents,” it's “fiddy.”
Carleton University
Ottawa
Canadia
Blonde: You know you are involved in an illegitimate affair when your secret word for sex is ‘bagels.’
Virginia
Teen boy #1: Wow, she’s hot.
Teen boy #2: What? She’s, like, ten! You’re a pedophile!
Teen boy #1: I’m not a pedophile — I’m only sixteen! You can’t be a pedophile until you’re eighteen.
Teen boy #3: That’s right — I’m the only pedophile here.
Teen boy #4: I’m almost a pedophile…
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: mikee
30-something black man on cell: I don't know if I'll finish in time, but I think I can still make it work.
20-something black guy walking past: It's “ain't”. As in “I ain't gonna get this shit done, so fuck all y'all!” Damn! You talkin' like a fool, brotha. (shakes head)
Savannah, Georgia
Buff manly guy, solemnly to friends: If worse comes to worst, we can always make S'mores.
Grocery Store
Southern California
