Professor talking about the Canterbury tales: So the friar has this gold pin he wears, he wears it under his neck to keep his hood closed . . . It's bling!
(class laughs)
Professor: I never want to hear anyone say I'm not up on the times. They had this article in Time magazine, it was an interview with a rapper, the guy's name was “fifty cents.”
(class laughs)
Professor: But I'm cool, and I know that it's not “fifty cents,” it's “fiddy.”
Carleton University
Ottawa
Canadia
Blonde: You know you are involved in an illegitimate affair when your secret word for sex is ‘bagels.’
Virginia
Teen boy #1: Wow, she’s hot.
Teen boy #2: What? She’s, like, ten! You’re a pedophile!
Teen boy #1: I’m not a pedophile — I’m only sixteen! You can’t be a pedophile until you’re eighteen.
Teen boy #3: That’s right — I’m the only pedophile here.
Teen boy #4: I’m almost a pedophile…
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: mikee
30-something black man on cell: I don't know if I'll finish in time, but I think I can still make it work.
20-something black guy walking past: It's “ain't”. As in “I ain't gonna get this shit done, so fuck all y'all!” Damn! You talkin' like a fool, brotha. (shakes head)
Savannah, Georgia
Buff manly guy, solemnly to friends: If worse comes to worst, we can always make S'mores.
Grocery Store
Southern California
Little boy: Mommy! I want to get my daddy this card!
Mother: But honey, you don’t know what that means.
Little boy: Yes, I do! I do!
Mother: Okay, what does it mean?
Little boy: Pull my finger. It means… pull my finger! That’s what you do, right? You pull the monkey’s finger.
Mother: Um… Honey, you don’t know what that means. Here, why don’t you give Daddy this other card instead?
Little boy, crying: No! I do know what it means. I want to get my daddy this card! He would like it!
Mother, sighing: Okay, fine… But you don’t know what it means.
Little boy, happily: My daddy is really going to like this card! I just know it!
Fred Meyer
Springfield, Oregon
Man eating burrito: It's like Darwinism. You know, selective… selection.
Balboa Island, California
Overheard by: Wow.
Little boy: Look! An end-of-the world watch!
Smith's Marketplace
Salt Lake City, Utah
Professor: I am so not professional…
Rowan University
Glassboro, New Jersey
Girl #1, playing boardgame: You steer a boat with this.
Girl #2: An udder?
Edinburgh
Scotland
Overheard by: Ben seven
