Spanish teacher: And you really have to be careful what you eat, because they have a lot of E. Coli problems.
Teenage girl: E. Coli? Like in those commercials with the cough drops?
Spanish teacher: What?
Teenage girl: Y'know, like the “Eeee-coliiii…”
Jersey Shore High School
Pennsylvania
Overheard by: shana yo mamma
Nerdy Asian guy: My friend is having a problem…
Drunk Asian guy: Can you solve it with your penis?
UCLA
California
Overheard by: Amused
College girl to friend: the nice thing about a toga is that you don't have to wear Spanx with it.
Metro State College of Denver
Denver, Colorado
Older woman to younger one: Man, you never spend weekends with your kids! When I was raising my kid I could count the times on one hand that I used a babysitter.
Younger woman: Really?
Eavesdropping young man: Man, I was raised on a babysitter!
Louisville, Kentucky
Overheard by: I'm Adopted
Professor, talking about his eight-year-old son: Don't invest in anything that eats.
Rutgers University
New Jersey
British male, contemplating the last two teabags left in the chalet: We'd best save one in case of an emergency.
Orelle
France
Professor: Please write legibly. If I had wanted to go blind, I would have masturbated to excess as a child.
University of Massachusetts
Amherst, Massachusetts
Boarding attendant at gate: At this time, you may put away your photo IDs… Unless, of course, you are exceptionally attractive. In that case, my name is Jason, I’m a Virgo, and I enjoy long walks on the beach.
Detroit Metro Airport
Michigan
Overheard by: orange
Guy on cell: It’s easy — just grab the dick in one hand and a beer in the other!
Carmen’s Bodega
Alingsås
Sweden
Overheard by: rymden
Professor: I advise you all to make love, at least once, outside in the rain. It's the best feeling in the world.
Marist College
Poughkeepsie, New York
Overheard by: Mackenzie
