Professor: Please write legibly. If I had wanted to go blind, I would have masturbated to excess as a child.
University of Massachusetts
Amherst, Massachusetts
Professor: Please write legibly. If I had wanted to go blind, I would have masturbated to excess as a child.
University of Massachusetts
Amherst, Massachusetts
Boarding attendant at gate: At this time, you may put away your photo IDs… Unless, of course, you are exceptionally attractive. In that case, my name is Jason, I’m a Virgo, and I enjoy long walks on the beach.
Detroit Metro Airport
Michigan
Overheard by: orange
Guy on cell: It’s easy — just grab the dick in one hand and a beer in the other!
Carmen’s Bodega
Alingsås
Sweden
Overheard by: rymden
Professor: I advise you all to make love, at least once, outside in the rain. It's the best feeling in the world.
Marist College
Poughkeepsie, New York
Overheard by: Mackenzie
Male student #1: Man, you can't get pregnant doing that.
Male student #2: Oh.
Monash University
Melbourne
Australia
Overheard by: Assilem
Geek to friend: You need to get her something she can use in bed… Like a puppet.
Gen Con Indy
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Matt
Frat boy: Hypothetically speaking, if you were on your period, would you invite a guy to go home with you? Like, if it was your third day and you weren’t having a very heavy flow?
Sorority girl: Justin, this doesn’t sound very hypothetical.
University of Iowa Library
Iowa City, Iowa
Bearded man, teaching math: …which is gonna give you nine over nine over four, which is horribly ugly. Does that terrify you greatly? It should.
UW Rock County
Janesville, Wisconsin
Overheard by: Akuaku
(in the Georgetown Banana Republic)
Girl #1: I really love this dress, but I think it's a tad too short for work. I'm only supposed to be buying dresses for work right now.
Girl #2: Really? It's not too short for my office. But my boss only hires pretty people, so he likes it when we wear short dresses.
Girl #1: Did you think I'm ugly?
Girl #2: No! Buy the dress and send me your resume.
http://eavesdropdc.blogspot.com/2008/08/who-wears-short-shorts.html
Overheard by: Ian
30-something #1: Last night I was brushing my hair, cause you know I haven't owned a hair brush in a year… And all these sticks and grass and dirt kept falling out.
30-something #2: You are a dirty hippie, you need to use some soap!
30-something #1: I don't like labels, man. I don't have soap.
30-something #2: True, man, labels are whack. But dude, you smell.
Hostel
New Mexico
Overheard by: Alex
