…In a Non-Sexual Way?

Behavioral therapist, in very serious voice, to child with autism about animal crackers: Jason, put the elephant in your mouth!
Child's mother, laughing: How often do you honestly get to say that?

St. John's
Newfoundland
Canadia

Overheard by: aba therapist

Posted on April 23, 2018
Animals, Canadia, Disabled, Food, Kids, Medical personnel, Mental illnesses, Moms, Questions

…With My Face Pasted on the Panther.

Chick #1: I met him when I was taking my picture in to be framed.
Chick #2: Was it a naked photo of you?
Chick #1: It was a naked lady on a panther.

Michigan

Overheard by: Meister E

Posted on April 12, 2018
Animals, Default, Girls, Michigan, Questions, Relationships, Weirdness

Then I Sniff It and I'm Like, “Ooo, Beer!”

Tiny pregnant girl to friend: He has this mattress that has pee stains all over it, and he keeps blaming it on the dog! I'm like, “yeah, right!”

Target
York, Pennsylvania

Posted on March 21, 2018
Animals, Girls, Gossip, Pee, Pennsylvania, Preggers, Stores

…Was My Bar Mitzvah Theme

Guy to friend: Jeff Gordon riding a Velociraptor alongside Jesus…

Appalchian State University
Boone, North Carolina

Overheard by: Diana Mason

Posted on March 5, 2018
Animals, Colleges & Universities, Default, Guys, Jesus, North Carolina, Pop culture, Weirdness

Should We Go for the Easy “Eating Pussy” Joke Here?

Housewife: We all have days at home with the cat where we think, “God, that cat looks yummy.”

Newcastle
Australia

Overheard by: Susie

Posted on February 9, 2018
Animals, Australia, Default, Food, Weirdness, Women

You Have Not Converted a Man because You Have Silenced Him

Guy: Look! A squirrel!
Girl: Awww! It’s cute.
Guy: It’s a girl squirrel.
Girl: How do you know?
Guy: It has squirrel tits. [Girl hits him over the head.]

Newark, Delaware