Scooby and the Gang Stage an Intervention for Velma

Father: Sweetie, your affection for the dog is causing you to hallucinate.

Empress Pavillion
Chinatown, California

Overheard by: Yapplebee

Posted on July 24, 2015
Animals, California, Dads, Default, Mental illnesses, Restaurants

Tonight on Graze Anatomy

Little boy to grandmother: My mommy's held a cow brain.

Borders Bookstore
Alameda, California

Overheard by: Lith

Posted on July 23, 2015
Animals, Body parts, California, Family, Family ties, Kids, Parenting, Stores

…So Quit Being Such a Pussy.

Greaser guy holding kitten: Who's a kitty? You's a kitty! Who's a kitty? You's a kitty! Who's a kitty? You's a kitty!
Punk girl: I think he knows he's a kitty.

Bakersfield, California

Posted on July 22, 2015
Animals, California, Girls, Guys, Punks, Stupidity

Which Brings Me to Today's Lab Assignment

Professor: Sponges can regenerate from the broken pieces. If you put a sponge through a mincing machine, you just get lots of little sponges. If you put a cow through, you get mince. If you put a person through, you get arrested.

Rhodes University
South Africa

Overheard by: Amused Zoology Student

Posted on July 22, 2015
Africa, Animals, Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Crimes, Murder, Science, Teachers

Your Editors Are Still Giggling about “Beaverton”

Little boy holding a dog leash: OK, I’ll be the dog and you be the owner.
Little girl: OK!
Little boy: No, wait, you be the dog and I’ll be the owner.
Little girl: Don’t even *think* about it!

Beaverton, Oregon

Posted on July 22, 2015
Animals, Default, Friends, Kids, Offers and requests, Oregon, Sexuality, Wishes

He Left, While Singing, “Everybody Was Kung Pao Fighting…”

Guy on phone: Yo, g, I'm gonna go out to the club and get me some Pad Thai chicken. Hell yeah, you know what I'm talking about. K, peace.
Paralegal: What the fuck? Why Pad Thai? Why not Kung Pao?
Guy: Cause I don't want all that attitude up in my chicken. I want my chicken to sit down and shut the fuck up!
Paralegal: Get out of my office.

Chicago, Illinois

Posted on July 21, 2015
Animals, Compare and contrast, Default, Employees, Food, Girls, Guys, Illinois, Offers and requests, On the phone, Questions, Wishes

And What About Cars?

Ditzy American girl: You're from Scotland?
Scottish girl: Yeah.
Ditzy American girl: So do they have like… Ducks over there?

Orlando, Florida

Posted on July 20, 2015
Animals, Florida, Foreigners, Girls, Questions, Stupidity

Wait 'Til the Kid Spills Something on It

Exasperated mom to young daughter (referring to a stuffed beaver): Quit messing with that beaver! (pause) and that's the last time I ever want to say that sentence!

Ikea
Frisco, Texas

Overheard by: Becca